Meta-tribes

bbow's modular system

2009-10-12T15:21:00.000-04:00

here's what I'm building...

Plan B

2009-10-12T15:06:00.005-04:00

I'm new to modular synths. I started building a system around May of 2009.

Eurorack is the format that I am going with. At first I thought I might build a 'frankensynth' out of multiple formats. When I realized the complexity of multiple power supplies and mounting rails I decided to ditch the idea and go with a straight forward system.

One of the manufactures that caught my eye was Plan B.

What also caught my eye very quickly was the warnings against purchasing Plan B modules.

I'm not sure what happened, apparently some people bought direct and didn't receive their stuff and some stuff didn't work and was returned to Plan B but never fixed...

I really wanted a vector joystick for my system, Plan B is the only company that makes a vector device. I bought one through Big City Music and had no problems.

I hope everything works out for Plan B. The designer and owner of the company has some amazing ideas and I really want to see them come to fruition. I know some people are very angry and feel personally victimized, I hope things work out for them as well.

here are some of the modules that I thought would have been really cool...

not only would they have been cool, but they look sexy as hell.

Bagger 288

2009-05-05T09:47:00.000-04:00

LOST and Jules Verne

2009-04-24T08:40:00.002-04:00

parallels between LOST and Mysterious Island

Cyrus Harding and Jack Shephard

Neb and Kate

Pencroft and James Sawyer

Aryton and Rousseau

Lamay and Sayid

Nemo and Benjamin Linus

Pirate Bob Harvey and Charles Widmore

Jane and Juliet

Alex and Nemo's daughter

Li and Richard

orangutang named Joop (clearly an homage)

Island with strange properties

monsters

hot air balloon

pirate ship

submarine

misfit group of castaways

scientist people

pirate people

Nemo's weapon and the buried atom bomb

building a raft

beach refuge

I'm sure there are tone more parallels.

I suspect that LOST will end with Ben helping the castaways, Widmore getting killed by the island and then the island being destroyed (Ben going down with the island), leaving the castways lost again to begin their next adventure.

Surly MacLaine

2009-01-01T13:11:00.004-05:00

I don't care how many times you spin around on the beach hugging yourself, you're not God.

Unless I don't understand what the word God means.

If it means; a tripped out hippie playing dervish on the beach then...

...I guess there really is a God...

...and it might explain a lot of design flaws in the human condition.

sound/noise toise

2009-01-01T12:27:00.003-05:00

Electro-static synth interface

Hamster ball synth

Tribbel Synth

Japanese typewriter synth

Rubber monster in a beaker synth vs robot synth

vocal annunciation synth

bible criticism

2008-12-29T21:35:00.011-05:00

Helow agane.

There have been a few funny things happening lately concerning me and people with very strong convictions. So I'm doing what I always do... I'm plotting to take over the world.

Before for we get into this highly charged topic of religion and sacred texts let me just say this;

I'm nobody of consequence, I'm just some dude.

I've been wrong more times than I can remember and every time I was wrong... I thought I was right.

I've said the right thing at the wrong time... the right thing the wrong way... and the right thing for all the wrong reasons.

So there.

I am not a mainstream Christian or a Bible literalist.

I tend to believe that all religions are more than their sacred texts.

And I believe that spirituality transcends religion.

Now then, my first year Religion professor hated all religions except for Egyptology.

I remember him trashing the story of Jonah because archaeological findings suggested that Nineva was much smaller than the account given in the Torah (okay, that was his beef? What about being eaten and regurgitated? No problem with that?)

I loved the guy, he was a great teacher, but he was no anthropologist or construction worker. Experts in ancient South American civilizations will tell you that the old mezzo empires were vast, much more so than the sparse ruins that survived the ages. That's kind of a cool idea, the metropolis consumed by the jungle. Some anthropologists speculate that if modern civilization were to expire that the only thing left after 100 years would be hotdogs and super highways.

I find this very easy to believe. Being a former construction worker I have seen first hand how poorly structures are made these days. My house was sheathed in 1/8 inch foam and then covered in vinyl siding. This plus my drywall is the only thing standing between a thief and my LCD television. An archeologist digging around the ruins of America might suspect that the nation's capital was pretty small, after all DC is dwarfed by it's surrounding foam/plastic suburbs.

Maybe the ancient Assyrian's had better construction than American contractors. I don't know. I've also been to Dandora, it is the largest slum in the world, it can be seen from space. One good natural disaster and it's all gone. The only thing left would be foreign embassy buildings.

Then again, all my jewish friends hyperbolize every detail of every story... but they do make better stories.

I guess that's why all my other professors were always going on about 'context'.

They all claimed to be teaching on religious texts from the context of 'phenomenology', well that was bull shit. They were the most... never mind.

From the academic context, the 'serpent' in Genesis is just a snake and nothing else (because the book of Genesis doesn't say that it is anything other than a snake), from mainstream Christian tradition, it is Satan.

Since my old friend Matt reminded me of a hilarious story about a bald prophet cursing 42 kids with death by bear attack, I'll use that one to crit in a few different contexts (in the tradition of the Talmud I'll start with minority and go more mainstream).

Phenomenology

Here's a weird story where Elisha gets mocked by some kids saying 'go on up bald head!' and Elisha calls for TWO! bears to kill the kids (42 are slain) 'in the name of the lord'

Sweet, apparently Elisha is bald.

What does this mean?

Was 'Go on up bald head' a reference to something in the northern kingdom? an urban/thuglife philistine song perhaps? Did Elisha see the bears first and then prophesy ex eventu? Was the scribe of 1 Kings just a baldy child-hater that had an agenda to insert a turd squirting fear of God in those would be bald head mockers? I know that there was a different dialect spoken in the northern and southern kingdoms, perhaps 'go on up baldhead' meant 'hey you, with the bald head, look out for those bears' or 'please kill me'.

Judaism

It's just a story.

I'm only half kidding here. There are dozens of different kinds of Jews. They could be national, ethnic, orthodox, reform, conservative, mystic, whatever. Most Torah literalists died out after Antiochus Epiphanes. The few Jews that I have known in the U.S. don't believe in God or an afterlife, but might believe in a 'messianic age'.

Christian Tradition

No one in the Bible makes mistakes, if it happened then it is good and we must conform our logic to these moral contradictions.

God did it and the kids were asking for it, Elisha is just a vessel of GOD's will.

All have fallen short of the glory of GOD and the wages of sin is death... the kids deserved it... in fact we all deserved it... it's only by the mercy of 'Bald head' that we are not all eaten by two bears.

Bowhayism

Who cares? Is there anything of worth to take away from this story?

I would find it very comforting to know that Elisha was just a dick. I mean, I'm a lazy selfish jerk, but I would love to be used by God.

I don't know if I believe in bear curses, but if I did then I would think that Elisha was GIVEN power by God early on and may have used it well sometimes and not so well other times.

Either way, I think it's a weird story. I definitely would not take it as a prescribed world view, reflection of God's will, or model of good character.

Alright, so I'm like totally not mainstream. But I dare any of you baldies to curse me with carnivores bears. That's how I want to go out... but it would be cool if they were undead cybernetic bears with alien DNA.

On a more serious note, I would encourage those who get really defensive about their religious texts to relax a little bit. If your faith is so fragile that it can be shattered by a bit of textual criticism then where is your faith really placed?

The best things in life are unconditional, if you have a NEED for your book to a little inerrant idol then you don't deserve to have your faith, what you are looking for is certainty and insurance.

Okay my stream of consciousness hit some rough waters there, I'm tired, figure it out yourself.

Dirty Rooster

2008-12-23T10:05:00.003-05:00

It's funny how different our prespectives are on the same things.
Maybe not. I'm so sleep deprived right now that I have no idea what I'm doing.

The doctors told us that we would have the baby last Wednesday. I've been on high alert for 6 days. Everytime I lay down to sleep my adrenaline pumps and my mind races. I stare at the ceiling for hours. M can't sleep because of her contractions.
guh...

Our daughter had her last day of daycare. The kids all did a little Christmas musical. Now she sings this song to herself all the time, but gets the words wrong. Yesterday I heard her say, "Baby Jesus in the manger, see him sleeping on the hay. Mary hugs a dirty rooster, see the baby run away."
That was cute. Since I've been reprogramed as a social worker every thing that I see is colored with a sort of welfare/human services tint. When I think about Christmas all I see is a teen pregnancy, the mom and dad in trouble with the authorites, and a kid being born in a cold dump surrounded by horse shit. I guess it is a little more profound than the crap on the Limetime channel. Do you think that those regal wise men really knelt down in manure next to a bunch of blue collar sheep herders? Damn I'm tired. Actually I really like my grunge revision of the nativity scene, it's much more punk rock, but not as marketable.
I do have one question about the angels that were seranading. Are these the same angels that make your face melt if you look at them? Cause, wouldn't that be really terrifying?
Christopher Walken was a pretty cool angel in that movie Prophecy. Eric Stoltz, not as much.

It's starting to look more and more like me and M are going to have a Christmas baby. So... yeah, Christmas.

Software Synthesizers

2008-12-08T22:47:00.005-05:00

never mind all of this.

The only soft synths worth my attention are the Omnisphere and Alchemy.

(actually I own Absynth and it rules)

The fourier re-synthesizing of Alchemy blows my mind.

And the 'Steam Engine' of Omnisphere picks up my scrammbled brains and shoves them back into my skull.

I know there are a lot of quality virtual analogs out there,

but I'm just feeling pretty played-out on that whole va sound.

There just needs to be new ideas in synth architecture!

Actually the Arturia Origin seems pretty friggin cool as far as originality goes.

hmm...origin-ality.

If they could make additive, granular, and wavetable oscillator modules I would be all over them.

I also wouldn't mind some good Oberheim and Prophet filter emulations...

maybe even a formant filter... hell, an FS1R model while I'm at it.

Could you imagine Frankenstiening all those modules together?!?!?!?

It'll never happen though, Arturia is all about analog emulations.

I should make my own synth. It would totally be a keytar!!!

Additive, granular, and wavetable (true wavetable) is the way to go.

Actually the FM synthesis of the FS1R is still pretty friggin cool in my book,

8 freq operators and 8 formant operators?!?!? Can you even believe it!

I'm in love

2008-12-07T23:35:00.003-05:00

okay... I'm trying to catch my breath here.

My heart is pounding in my chest.

My family is asleep and I need to share my excitement with someone.

So here I am pouring myself out to the cold faceless interweb.

I was playing my Waldorf Blofeld synthesizer and I came across a ram patch called

"Choir Bells"

I held a simple C chord...

It was a nice angelic pad.

As the LFO swept through the wavetables I could hear droplets of rain like they were resonating wine goblets in a random and yet divine unearthly unity.

I just sat there holding that chord for about ten minutes.

It was ten minutes of bliss... pure untainted beauty just for me.

Presence Process session 6 & 7

2008-12-06T09:14:00.011-05:00

Uhg, what can I say about these sessions?

It was brutal.

This description is going to sound cheesy and new age.

Just bear with me, I have an open mind, but I'm not Shirley McClain or Tom Cruise.

Session 6 focused on ... finally resolving past issues.

Session 7 focused on feeling secure while dealing with really insecure things.

Sometimes I would remember a mistake I made or something embarrassing that I said or did and I would beat myself up about it. My reaction was to do what ever I could to sedate the feeling, distract myself, whatever, anything but deal with it.

The session seven tries to trigger even the most deeply buried junk from our emotional history.

This is important because the unresolved issues in our past are the basis for our reflex/reactions in the present.

The training involves a change of perspective towards yourself. If a good buddy came to you bummed about something stupid they did in the past would you punch him in the gut and call him names? I wouldn't, I would try to be a good friend and console the poor dude. But, why don't I treat myself with the same compassion when I recall a past upset?

Don't judge your pain,

just listen to it,

feel it,

and deal with it.

So here's where it gets weird.

Each day I would sit in a tub of warm water for 20 minutes.

My ears were submerged and everything sounded funny.

I closed my eyes and remained as still as possible.

The idea is that in our hyper-culture we are constantly bombarded with sensory stimulus.

It is hard to experience the peace required to listen.

So this is a little like sensory deprivation/womb simulation... that's the weird part.

The difficult part is that what is triggered is not cognitive memory information, but pure emotional memory without any personal historical context.

It is like taking an emotional shit, a very dull agony.

But this is what it takes to remove the metaphorical splinter, a deep and infectious splinter that makes your flinch and get angry when people bumped it or tried to address it.

End of metaphor.

Custom Keytar Midi Controller

2008-11-24T13:19:00.005-05:00

Who ever wants to build this for me, I will pay handsomely.

It needs to have velocity and aftertouch on the lower keyboard.

The neck keyboard should be very flat, like buttons, but more than just a printed plastic film. The neck wouldn't have velocity, but still needs to have aftertouch. The pitchbend bar is raised for the option to put a thumb under it or palm down. It should be pretty stiff.

Any extra standard midi controller functions that I forgot can go on the back of the body.

I was thinking that there could be either different styles or just a removable blank matte cover plate that you could customize.

Kinda like some cell phones.

My style ideas are:

Euro-Future, Rusted Cyber-Blood

Gloom Sexy. London Garage

57 Cherry, Mahogany Pearl

Rhyme & Bass, Blue Soul

Black Tie, Video Killed the Radio Star

There should be a contest for who can come up with the coolest designs based on these names.

Presence Process Week 4 and 5

2008-11-21T10:30:00.004-05:00

THE SYNTHESIS OF OLD AND NEW

Okay, I've been pretty preoccupied with the acquisition of new synth gear so I haven't posted in a while.

btw, the difference between reacting and responding is important in these sessions.

Reaction is an unconscious reflex and responding is a calculated choice.

Week 4 was about being one with your pain and discomfort.

The idea is that pain and discomfort are not inherently bad, but we react with judgement towards our pain and discomfort.

Our P&D are merely messengers.

Our reaction is to sedate and control our P&D.

If we shoot the messenger we might be spared of unpleasant news but it is probably news that we need to hear.

If we have a physical injury, getting mad at it might have some negative affects on your recovery. I haven't done any research on the impact of stress on the human body but my doctor tells me that it's bad.

Week 4 focused more in terms of physical discomfort and week 5 was more about emotional discomfort; shame, disappointment, impatience, etc.

Week 5 was about changing our reaction to P&D to responding to it the way we would respond to some one else that was hurting.

I don't know about you but when some one I care about is hurting I try to be compassionate, but when it is myself I tend to beat myself up about it.

So this week a lot of things from my past popped up. Things that I was embarrassed about. When I would recall these things I would usually get upset and try to think about something else.

The problem is that past traumas effect our present life, decisions we make and how we react to people.

So this time I received these resurgent memories and talked myself down as if I were talking to a friend that was dealing with their own issue.

In this case I was counseling my younger self. Yes, that's weird, but people are weird.

As a result I was finally able to put some old ghosts to rest and they won't have any influence on my present relationships or my self image.

The whole thing is very weird, it's like re-experiencing something familiar in a strange foreign way.

Jam the Vote

2008-11-07T22:49:00.001-05:00

the rhythm is gonna get me

2008-11-07T15:44:00.005-05:00

I'm getting back into music... synthesizers specifically.

I'm getting rid of all my old avant-garde junk and hopefully just getting a couple a versatile and modern pieces that sound great.

Here's one that I'm looking at.

The Access Virus, it's a virtual analog beast.

I've always loved the crisp euro sound.

All my favorite Progressive House programmers use this thing.

Here's another one that I actually just bid on and lost.

This is the Waldorf Mircrowave XTK.

It is based on wavetable synthesis,

something I've wanted since I was 18,

about seven-teen years ago.

I couldn't find a good demo of the sounds on You-tube, so here's it's little brother, the MW2.

I've always really like FM synthisis,

but hated that the Yamaha stuff never had resonate filters.

So now they have this cute little groove box,

it's like a DX7 with knobs,

built in effects, and A FILTER!!!

It features a rhythm section with step sequencing. All in all a pretty cool little toy.

I have the Korg Electribe series and some soft synth stuff like Reason and Absynth so I guess I'll be in pretty good shape.

My friend Jeff plays guitar and drums really well, he has some really nice gear and knows about three people with Pro-tools studios with a bagillion plug-ins. One guy has a V-drum. Who knows, we might make some cool junk.

The Grieving Process

2008-11-05T09:41:00.009-05:00

You have to feel it to heal it.

I never really mourned the time when my Electro Harmonix Micro Synth was stolen.

I am sad. Helios Creed put a wanted ad out for one of these things in a Sub-pop newsletter. I was intrigued. I saw one for sale locally, I only intended to check it out, see what it was about. When I played it I knew that it was made for me. It made noises so offensive that the devil him self would blush to describe it out loud. I had to own it.

Also, my Univox Super Fuzz was stolen in the same incident.

This video does not do it justice.

When you think about the face-melting lead sounds on tracks like American Woman...

that is what it did.

I only got to play it once...

it was like getting hit by a truck going 200 mph carrying velvet cups of butter.

But for some reason the dirty thief did not take my Digitech Whammy Pedal,

Electro Harmonix Big Muff &

Electric Mistress & Small Stone,

Boss CE-3 & DM-2,

Mutron Multi-Phase,

MXR Phase 100 & Blue Box,

E-bow, or my Echo-plex.

Or my absolute most favorite pedal in the world,

the amazing ACE TONE FUZZ MASTER 2.

So, I guess it could have been worse.

It feels bad to have someone take something from you.

Like a helpless victim... no one to grant me justice... never mind justice I just want my stuff back.

Presence Process week 3

2008-10-29T11:49:00.006-04:00

bluh... week three is hard.

I'm totally depressed.

Depression is like a splinter.

If it's deep you might not see it but you will probably feel it.

Whether you feel it or not, if it is festering, it is going to cause you some problems.

So, in week three I'm having a bunch of unresolved feelings that were buried deep in my mid-brain that are starting to rise to the surface.

Here's the thing...

There are many different kinds of love, the greeks had five different words for love that meant different things. Then there are love languages, are people loving the right way and blah blah blah. THe saddest thing is that there are a great number of people out there that are so out of touch with love that they don't even understand what the word means, they say that 'you can't define it', that 'no one can really know what love is.' There is a real reason why some people don't know anything about love, they have been loved in some sense of the word but never been genuinely loved, truly and unconditionally.

Most of us probably did not get the love that we needed from our parents because people cannot give what they don't have. Our parents probably did not receive the kind of love that they needed as children, and so on.

I wouldn't say that I had a crappy childhood, but do know that I didn't get what I needed.

I'm not going to judge my folks about it, they just didn't have it to give. They did the best they could. But, I think that for my whole life I've been depressed. Most people from the old neighborhood would probably have described me as a hyper-spaz clown, but those behaviors were just my way of sedating and controlling... boredom... the empty, meaningless monotony of life. Now, when I was a kid I would have never been able to articulate that. I wasn't aware of it because I didn't know that there was any other way to be, I couldn't see inside people's heads to know how other people experience emotional health.

One of the things that I look forward to each day is coming home to see my daughter. I like just watching her play and walk around and spout irrational statements. I don't think that I got that from my dad. My mom told me that he never changed my diaper. That makes me sad.

It is hard for me to think about a father not having that kind of expressed affection for their own child. Ravi Zacharias said that for some people despair is a moment and that for other people despair is a way of life with moments of emotional peace. I wonder if my father was depressed.

This morning I had a really hard time. I was trying to get my girl ready for school and I was just empty. I had no love to give. I tagged out with my wife and went out on my deck and drank coffee. I know that there is depression on my mother's side of the family, but my dad is from west Texas, they don't need shrinks.

Well, that's about it so far. I'm grieving unresolved emotions from my childhood. I'm getting the splinter out and it gets uglier before it gets better.

Presence Process - Week 2

2008-10-28T10:16:00.007-04:00

This week was about acknowledging my reflections in the world.

Apparently the brain is like a computer. You can store memories that are time stamped and have all kinds of useful context information assigned to each memory.

But in addition to this metaphorical RAM, there is also a battery that stores energy. This metaphorical energy is emotion memory. There is no time context or any useful point of reference assigned to stored emotional memories.

That's a bad thing.

If you have ever seen someone overreact it is probably because they experienced a situation

where there were similarities to past experience, and emotional experience. The current situation involved something that 'triggered' the emotional memory which released the intense feelings into the current situation. The result is a 'reaction' that is greater than the situation warranted.

It is always better to choose your 'response' to an emotionally charged situation than automatically 'react'

Here's the solution.

Train your mind to exist in the present, stop thinking in terms of the future or the past.

(In my last blog I talked about how my thoughts tend to dwell on what is coming up or analyzing what has already past, consequently my whole life I have conditioned my thoughts to never be in the present moment).

This gives your mind a point of reference in the present moment.

When something reminds you of a past experience you may take note of it and move on.

If you let the past experience dictate how you feel about the current experience then that is called 'projection'.

That's a bad thing.

Here's an example.

- your dad was a dick, you have strong negative feelings about him in your emotional memory

- your dad is a symbol of authority

- God is a symbol of authority, you place your strong negative feelings on any symbol of authority

- You conclude that God is a dick

Here's an interesting projection.

What does it mean?

What if every time I look at my grandpa I feel like I did the first time I saw Planet of the Apes?

Now whether that is true or not is not the point. You want to arrive at your conclusions based on reality not a defense mechanism such as projection.

This past week I was successfully able to identify several times where someone reminded me of something from my past that was emotional, I recognized my impulse to project those feelings onto the person in front of me, and then I was able to acknowledge (not dismiss) the emotional memory and continue with my interaction.

Yae Me!!!

Being sick is lame

2008-10-27T09:49:00.007-04:00

I used to like sick-days when I was a kid.

I got to stay home from school, stay in my pajamas, watch TV, and my mom would wait on me and give me soup and hot cocoa.

Now it sucks.

Now it's like... none of that.

My pajamas feel like a gross second skin... since I feel like crap everything on TV seems to mock me... my mom is in a different state... I really liked being a student on campus, so being at home sucks... I generally have no appetite but when I do I feel to weak/lazy to fix anything.

Right now I don't know what hurts worse, wiping my nose or my butt. It's a toss up, I've been stealing my daughter's wet wipes for both... nothing helps. At this point I'm not totally opposed to putting A&D ointment on both ends.

This all started on Thursday, my daughter had gross snot oozing down her face and she felt bad so she kept trying to nuzzle on me and then kept rubbing her snot all over me.

It's cool though, I still love her. The ear-aches were pretty problematic for both of us.

The two things that are helping me

cope are the cheesy Halloween theme

commercials on TV

(it makes me smile to see M&Ms dressed as classic Hollywood monsters), watching the leaves swirl in the street in front of my house and the fact that I got invited to test the Beta of Resistance 2 on the PS3.

I can't tell you how cool it is to play 8 player online mission co'ops.

I'm still a little to nervous to play the 80 player online tournaments. It's so exciting that I'm afraid to play it. I want to do well and at the same time I don't want to get sucked into a new addiction that is going to ruin my already unstable life.

wish me luck

Coldplay:The Politics of 'Double-Dipping'

2008-10-26T16:42:00.015-04:00

Coldplay was on SNL this weekend, they were awesome.

The singer was a little weird.

Amy Poller had her baby.

It was weird watching Weekend Update without her.

I used to hate reporters. I don't like how hateful some of them are.

Then I started to like some that made me laugh.

So I started to pay a little more attention to the presidential campaigns.

Before I get into this let me just say that I don't consider myself republican or democrat. I like some of the things that each candidate is pitching (whether or not it is in line with their party) but it just comes down to if I believe the nice things they are saying are really TRUE about the kind of administration they would make. So in this race I have been paying very close attention to character.

I like clearly stated policies.

I like campaign ads that educate me on a candidates own position on relevant issues.

Here's what I don't like.

*Omissions (if there is something potentially scandalous then just get it out and explain it, don't let the media discover it [unless you are guilty, in which case I hope the media nails you to the wall in front of the whole nation, and you end up serving as a warning to other corrupt leaders])

*making inappropriate faces and unfairly associated fear based labels

*blatantly avoiding direct questions with talking points

*not having a clear stance on the issues because you spend all your time criticizing your opponents issues

*distracting people from a lack of strong stance on issues by accusing the opposition of focusing on non-issues

*raising non-issues by saying that 'we're not going to raise non-issues'

*trying to win an election by appealing to the apathetic demographic with fear based accusations that the apathetic demographic will not fact-check or catch a retraction.

*insisting on a caricature to represent the masses when the person that the caricature was based on misrepresented himself and would actually do better under your opponents plan

*combating a shocking and relevant endorsement with five irrelevant endorsements

*picking a running-mate based on election strategy versus having the readiness to lead the country in a time of historical crisis

Here's a funny one that deserved it's own paragraph.

Let's say that I'm running my campaign on the grounds of perfect social etiquette.

Then I am caught double-dipping.

I redirect away from the issue by saying that my opponent's party did it too and I have a right to double-dip, in fact double-dipping only proves that I'm a regular joe because hey let's face it, we've all double-dipped.

Then I further redirect the focus by saying that chips and dip are a great thing and when I am elected I will make sacrifices to ensure that there will always be dip with chips and I will defend everyone's right to have dip with their chips.

I guess the biggest thing that bothers me is the perception that the identity of the campaign is based off of polarizing against your opponent or a trial-and-error tactic.

I would hope that someone pursuing the presidency had one clear idea about each policy issue and reinforce it rather than making it up as you try to find what will help you win.

It's not about winning, it's about leading the country.

The Presence Process

2008-10-21T20:41:00.010-04:00

Hey, I'm going through a book about present moment awareness.

I thought I would blog about it in a journal style.

enjoy.

It's written by Michael Brown, aka John Locke.

Week 1 of the Presence Process was about 'choosing to experience the present moment'

Through a series of introspective breathing exercises I have discovered that I am always thinking in either the past or the future.

I am either rehearsing something that is upcoming or replaying and analyzing what I have already done.

I don't know if that is product of the hyper-culture or if I'm just scatter brained.

I've found that when I read, my mind drifts off. My eyes continue to scan sentences at the same rate but I am thinking about something totally unrelated. If I want to read for comprehension then I have to go back and find where I lost my trail.

I remember when I was in 3rd grade. I had to read the book 'A Light in the Forest' and do a book report. It was a pretty cool book about a white 4 year-old who was abducted by native americans and raised as a tribal son. In his teens he was 'reclaimed' and launched into western civilization. The boy was rebellious to the western clothes and white walls that suffocated him.

When I wrote the book report the story bled into a telling of the Disney movie 'Watcher in the Woods' (staring the sex crazy girl from the James Bond movie 'For Your Eyes Only')which I'd just seen prior to reading the book. There was also a part where the white indian boy had a crush on the girl I sat next to, Betsy Phaus. Then it degraded into a part were alien monsters that fought robot dinosaurs.

I was definitely not experiencing the present moment when I read that book.

PSA: hit and miss

2008-10-16T09:22:00.002-04:00

Sarah Silverman rules, others... kinda cheesey,

but I guess this video is targeted at... people other than me.

Anneliese Michel

2008-10-12T21:40:00.009-04:00

I like to blog. I used to have trouble sleeping some times because my mind would start racing. Blogging helps me to process things and get things off my mind.

Here's the deal, I've got something on my mind. I've blogged before about my fascination and yet dismissive attitude about the paranormal. But lately I'm a little freaked out.

Ever since I saw The Ring I was freaked out by scary movies.

Maybe since becoming a father or just getting older I have an increased empathetic response to

characters in movies. Suspension of disbelief has never been a issue with me, I've always had an active imagination and tendency to really put myself into a movie, so maybe that's it.

This weekend I saw The Exorcism of Emily Rose. It was a little disturbing. I understood that it was based on a true story. I figured the girl was mentally ill. There was a history of mental illness in her family, some of her 'attacks' seemed like epileptic seizures, and he may have suffered from some kind of schizophrenia as well. Combine that with Catholic guilt and superstition and you have a pretty good explanation.

On a side note, in some African religions (like Yoruba) possession is not a bad thing. The gods are largely morally neutral and even if you are possessed by a god that happens to be in a bad mood that day, it is still a good thing that you were blessed by his presence. It is also important to note that most of these 'possessions' are nothing more that stimulated states of altered consciousness that can be scientifically duplicated.

However...

Some of the things didn't add up. She had 'exposure' to the study of foreign language. I've studied foreign languages. It doesn't make sense to me that someone would be able to converse, curse and blaspheme in six different languages from an 'exposure' to these languages. I'm sure that the first thing Catholic kids do when they study dead languages is share how to drop the f-bomb in greek, hebrew, aramaic, and latin. But, that's not really the same thing.

The prosecution said that the girl was able to emit two voices at once because humans actually have two sets of vocal chords and that some tibetan monks are able to master the skill of making their second vocal chords make sounds...

hmm...

some monks.... master... make a sound.

I'm not sure about that either.

Now, I've read a bit about demonology. I've studied Goetic and Solominic keys. I know about the power of spirt naming and recognizing subduing counter parts. So when the demons identified themselves as Judas, Nero, Hitler, and a few other notorious humans, then I pretty quickly dismissed this case as just some crazy girl.

But, according to the tradition, when called out, demons will never give you a straight answer.

So not much help there.

Mental illness isn't contagious. Many people surrounding the case experienced unsettling phenomenon that were reported by the girl when she first began having problems.

I've seen a lot of scary behavior from mentally ill people, but... not like this. And then there is the whole super strength/contortion/scaring animals thing. I don't know what to make of that.

Okay, so here it is. Photos of the real girl, Germany 1976, and actual recordings from the exorcism.

WARNING, IF YOU ARE EASILY FREAKED OUT OR HAVE LITTLE KIDS AROUND, THEN DON'T CLICK THIS LINK

Anneliese Michel

I tend to keep my theology minimalist, practical and rational.

Every time I look at the facts it seems pretty straight forward, a sad case where a girl needlessly suffered and died because of ignorance and superstition.

But it's just freaky enough that if causes me to doubt my beliefs.

I try to seek out things that challenge my world view. And as I've said before, I try to moderate my convictions by remembering that every time I have ever been wrong, I thought I was right. I have a hard time fitting something messy like demons or possession into my neat modern and civilized theology, and I have to admit... I fear the unknown.

***my apologies, I was recently corrected that Michel did not say that she was possessed by Hitler, Nero, and Judas, but that 'he who dwells within' was also 'within' Hitler, Nero, and Judas.

She did say that she was possessed by Bilial, who actually is one of the the traditionally named demons.

sorry bout that

*** also, since I am a liberal protestant, I was recently refered to the book People of the Lie by Scott Peck, a spiritual/rationalist psychologist that wrote on the 'Question of existential evil'.

2008-10-09T09:37:00.003-04:00

The betas for Little Big Planet are turning out some great things.

This is a super open-source side-scrolling mmorpg for the PS3.

You can get online and play a variety of levels that users have created right down to each interactive and functional object.

Everything is user definable: characters, sound effects, backgrounds, you name it.

I personally really liked this kitschy halloween level.

check it out... the geek site - www.littlebigplanet.com

the commercial site http://littlebigplanet.com

I really like that you can put your own background music tracks in the game.

LBP is to gameplay what the Wii was to hardware.

It will be interesting to see what the next generation brings :)

Economic Crisis - WIP

2008-10-08T07:33:00.009-04:00

There is a lot of finger pointing as to the cause of the current economic crisis.

Blame... blame... blame...

Some say it is the Democrats, some say it is the Republicans.

Some say it is the senior officers of high finance others say... well, they say that WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.

WE ARE NOT ALL TO BLAME.

Contrary to what Whoopie Goldberg said, not everyone went to the party of financial free-for-all, and it's not just us that have to clean it up, it is going to be our children that are going to be dealing with this as well.

It would be easy to point the finger at one group and have a good ole fashion lynching.

Or just shrug and say that we all did it and a good ole fashion love-in.

But here's the reality, America is a culture of irresponsible finance, and there are a lot of people that are VERY responsible with their finances and are getting screwed because of the greed and financial irresponsibility of the masses. I don't want to blame culture, can I blame materialism?

Melissa and I bought a used Hyundai Accent and it is paid off.

We bought a small townhouse that is about 45 minutes from the city.

We don't have any credit card debt.

We live within our means and we don't live on credit.

So... don't blame me for this mess.

Unlike so many other high finance companies, J.P.Morgan did not get themselves into the trouble that so many other did with high risk sub-prime loans... so I'm told. So maybe there are some businesses that are fiscally reasonable.

Too many people buy the propaganda of the capitalism machine that material gain is the key to happiness, that a certain 'standard of living' is a non-negotiable.

Some Democrats are guilty of this and some are not.

Same goes for Republicans, senior officers of high finance, and the average citizen.

I suspect that some politicians are not saying this because it would be upsetting to hear and they would lose approval. Who's going to be approving of a guy that says you make crap financial decisions?

Why is looking for blames so seductive?

I've had the rare luxury of working with a leader that values moderation, diplomacy, and listening. It was great for me to be exposed to real critical thinking early on. When Clinton was president there was a lot of talk from Christian conservatives about how horrible he was. My pastor told me that Clinton was not the anti-Christ. He also told me interesting things about how Clinton managed meetings and actively sought out his critics to listen to what they had to say. Because I respected the guy I was willing to have an open mind. Years later GW took office. Again, there was a lot of talk from Christian conservatives about how GW was God's candidate. My pastor told me that while Clinton was not the anti-Christ, GW was also not the messiah either.

I'm not in the middle of this thing, but as an average citizen I'm not feeling great about this rescue bill. If you believe in a free market then doesn't that mean that you do not intervene?

I hear things like, 'Japan tried a bailout ten years ago and they still haven't recovered.' I would like to help people feel at ease in uncertain times, but I feel like I'm going against the culture. The way I was raised was always being bailed out when I got in trouble. My parents were trying to protect me, but they ended up insulating me from the valuable life-learning experience of suffering natural consequences. This is our culture. Too many expect to be rescued from consequences because this is what we were taught to expect.

So here's my advice. If you are not part of the solution then try not to stir up a panic. Start managing you money by living within your means and don't live on credit. Realize that you do not have a right to a certain standard of living, 90% of the rest of the world would love to be in your position.

The second part of my advice is tricky because I find it difficult to abide. Don't be a hater.

There are people I really don't like, people that I think could be dangerous. But I need to remember that people with power and people with out power are just people. The best of us will make mistakes and brightest will have moral failings. Hate is a heavy burden, it is hard to let go of because it is held in a clenched fist. The hate that it holds was justified by a feeling that 'I am right'. Every time I was ever wrong... I felt right.

THE BOWHAY DIET

2008-10-07T08:40:00.027-04:00

I'm over weight.

I did the BMI and based on my age and height I need to be in the ball park of 160-165.

I started out this year at 235.

Right now I'm 218. I'm cool with that.

Here's my diet philosophy.

1. Big ass protein heavy breakfast.

2. Medium sized lunch.

3. All-Bran for dinner.

The later in the day that you eat, the more likely it is that your food will turn to fat.

For breakfast I usually heat up some stuff I cooked earlier in the week. Johnsonville Sweet Italian Sausage is a personal favorite. I'll usually have it with eggs and toast.

Now, it's not good to have eggs every day, you need to be on a rotation.

If I'm lazy I'm grab some frozen chicken patties and some sweet potato fries. I try to alternate with salmon and tofu.

I know, fish in the morning? That sounds gross, but let's face it, where has western style eating habits gotten us? Out of shape and unhealthy. It does require a paradigm shift.

All-bran is the cereal with the highest amount of fiber. Fiber is good, it will help you lose weight. Eating cereal for dinner will drastically affect your social life, bringing a ziplock bag of All-bran over to dinner at your In-law's place.

But, if your friends love you then they will support your lifestyle change, I mean, if I was diabetic (actually my doctor said I was pre-diabetic) then no one would say boo.

The Bowhay diet is kinda like coming out of the closet. People will be uncomfortable around you because your lifestyle makes them confront their own lifestyles... or it's just awkward because it's out of the ordinary.

For lunch I try to have two shots of wheat grass and a venti coffee. The coffee is very filling, but it's not good to drink your calories. My advice is to learn to appreciate a good coffee without all the whip cream and syrup. The peaberry is quite nice. The good thing about the wheat grass is that I don't like vegetables, so a few shots a week and I'm good. If you've never had wheat grass before, WATCH OUT. The taste is awful, it's like having your sinuses stuffed with fresh lawn clippings. Keep the altoids handy, they're pretty good at masking the after taste.

SNACK OFTEN

Carrots take more calories to digest than what they introduce. Soyjoy cranberry bars are the highest in potassium and lowest in calories, also a good source of fiber. Cheese sticks and apples are good too. I rarely reward myself with a dark chocolate or green tea cola. If I'm really fiending then I might chomp on some of my daughter's rice crackers.

SUPPLEMENT YOUR DIET.

You probably already know the vitamins that you need,

A (Retinol)

B₁ (Thiamin),B₂ (Riboflavin), B₃ (Niacin), B₅ (<Pantothenic acid), B₆ (Pyridoxine), B₇ (Biotin), B₉ (Folic acid), B₁₂ (Cyanocobalamin)

C (Ascorbic acid)

D (Calciferol)E (Tocopherol),

K (Phylloquinone)

but there are around 16 different minerals that the body needs to stay healthy.

Calcium Chloride

Cobalt Copper

Iodine Iron

Magnesium Manganese

Molybdenum Nickel

Phosphorus Potassium

Selenium Sodium

Sulfur Zinc

Also, there are 8 different simple sugars that the body needs.

Xylose Fucose

Galactose Glucose

Mannose N-acetylgalactosamine

N-acetylglucosamine N-acetylneuraminic acid

Most multi-vitamins that are available at your local drug store won't have anything with the 8 sugars. If you don't have a specialty shop near you then go here. But if you do then SUPPORT SMALL LOCAL BUSINESS!

You can't rely on a balanced diet to diet to take care of it for you any more. In this day of corporate farming the soil is depleted of nutrients and produce is harvested before they have a chance to store any real nutrients. If you have farmers market near then go to it. The key is to eat the freshest and most unprocessed foods as possible.

*When taking supplements you must drink lots of water. Water is the catalyst.

Vitamin D and Omega-3's will help you lose weight.

Omega-3's tell your body to burn stored fat.

Omega-6's (found in bread, pasta, and white starches) tell your body to store fat.

Your body doesn't make fat from consumed fat, it makes fat by converting starch into fat.

Last bit.

LEARN TO LIKE EXERCISE

I bought a pair of running shoes and my buddy David gave me bike.

I try to use one of them daily.

My friend James showed me a thing called the Powerbase.

It is light and compact (fits under your bed) and offers modular low-impact isometric workouts.

That's a good thing.

I got on craigslist and found the exact stair-master I wanted, the 'Climbmax 3000' (very sexy). I got it for $275. It was in Jersey. It was a huge time (12 hours), money (I think the gas cost more than the

machine),

and space

investment (my laundry room is crowded as hell). But I'm worth it :)

Also, if you are cheap and lazy like me, there are simple floor and stair exercises that you can do on your way from the kitchen to the couch.

*one last tip

Mustard does wonders for bland healthy foods.

And it doesn't have all the sugar that ketchup or barbecue sauces have. Here are some of my favorites.

SEX AND SOCIAL SERVICES

2008-09-23T09:31:00.030-04:00

WARNING, IF YOU ARE A PRONE TO DEMONIZING SEXUALITY PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS. Instead you should go here, I mean, why needlessly upset yourself?

This summer my pastor gave a lecture that changed my life.

No, it was not the famous 'Last Lecture.'

It was about laziness. I had always thought of laziness as the opposite of work. Anytime I wanted to chill and eat some potato chips on the couch while watching reruns of The Nanny I figured I was being lazy.

This was his definition -

'When comfort wins over doing what is right'

That is a very liberating idea and at the same time very convicting.

The reason why this affected me so much is that I was able to think about other virtues that I may have misunderstood and began to contemplate the principles behind them.

Obscenity.

I met with my old religion professor last month just to catch up on life and talk shop. He recently came back to his faith and is considering going back to church. He lamented that these 'American Christians' are all obsessed with sex. He said, 'That's all they want to talk about.'

I thought to myself, "Yea, but there's a lot of freaky sex in the Bible."

Years ago I heard Ravi Zacharias talking about pornography and in the same lecture he said that 'nothing is inherently evil.' He didn't come up with that, theologians have been saying that for generations. But, to include that thought on a subject that is so socially unacceptable was pretty bold. Zacharias when on to compare trash romance novels to pornography, not because they were graphically explicit, but because they were conceptually explicit. The indulgent reward to the pleasure center of the brain is the same, an instantly gratifying and intense rush of stimulation.

The problem with pornography is that it is empty calories...

like soda and candy. Soda and candy are not evil, but if you use it to cope

and rely on it as your source of nutrition then you will not only get sick and eventually die, you will also be somewhat dysfunctional as a person.

But let's face it, people will use anything to cope, even the common understanding of love is 'I like how you make me feel,' rather than 'I care about how you feel.'

Empty.

Now you all know that I love a good controversy, and my last thought is not the big controversy here. I would like to take this moment to trample on something revered in our culture. Something that is undisputed as a godsend to our culture...

Of course it is good that some people get helped, that's not my beef. And I'm not saying that it is a BAD show or that you are BAD for watching it. After a long stressful week it's nice to flop on the couch and veg. Coping mechanisms are okay in moderation, but over indulgence leads to an unhealthy and dysfunctional consumer mindset. The reward for watching EHM is that you get an intense emotional rush, and it is instantly gratifying. You get to feel warm and fuzzy about the down-and-out family that gets a second chance. You get to feel good about yourself because other people rush out to serve the less fortunate.

What's wrong with that?

And for the sake of argument, what's wrong with some pimply kid getting the instant gratification of an intense physical rush from a naked picture?

The teen-age boy is not actually participating in fornication... right?

(The same way that the viewers of EHM are not actually participating in any charitable act of service)

SIDE NOTE - I don't think masturbation can be considered a sin based on the Onan model. The dude was guilty of deception because he was supposed to provide a child but was selfish and shot his load into his shoe (so as to not provide any evidence when he put his foot back into that slimy penny-loafer) and then exited the tent.

Sorry, it that too graphic? That's in the Bible (maybe not the NIV).

Let's back up for a second.

What is lust?

Is it any sexual thought? No. (some sexual thoughts are harmless and some are psychotic)

Before you quote Matthew 5 gimmie a minute.

Does the insight into the principle of laziness help us understand lust? Yes.

Here's my definition

Lust is when you indulge in your desire at the expense of another person.

(This is why I think that many husbands are guilty of lust against their own wives)

This may not completely resolve the controversy of sexual taboos, but it at least makes a little clearer and rational in my head.

Now getting back to the harmless thoughts thing. I agree with Matthew 5:21. Anger is totally unnecessary and can be eliminated very easily with the right coaching. But, sexual thoughts are only unhealthy if you are ogling or fantasying about indulging in your desire at the expense of another person.

If a kid objectifies women, then yea, that's not cool. I consider myself a feminist, I have a wife, a daughter, a mom, and a sister. I want the best for them. As far as his pet monkey goes, maybe his impulse is momentarily satisfied, but society as a whole is not suffering from the loss of his contribution to... I don't know, the local sperm-bank?

But, if we as a culture are pacifying our ideal to help others because we watch a show on Sunday night then we all lose (except Home Depot).

And who really benefits? Are the 'down-and-out' families receiving long term professional assistance? No.

Hore Depot benefits, maybe they are not the corporate whore that some people accuse them of being, but they might be the ho-slapping pimp.

I KNOW, I KNOW!!!

You are saying that this show inspires people to go out and help others...

...prove it.

EHM averages over 3 million viewers. I don't want to be right, I would love to be wrong. Cynicism has not served me well, I desperately want to have hope in Americans.

If you like EHM and you like how it makes you feel, then keep watching it.

I'm not here to preach abstinence or censorship. But I do challenge you to get involved in ACTUAL social service rather than a virtual fix. I believe in the potential that each individual has something to contribute. When you stimulate yourself into social atrophy the whole community suffers.

Dora the Explora

2008-09-11T12:37:00.008-04:00

The difference between a rational decision and an act of faith is the difference between doing what is practical versus helping someone at your own expense.

I saw a some lady sitting on the concrete with her two kids, approximate ages 18 months and

2 and half.

The mom had a look of hopelessness on her face.

I said 'hi' from a distance and then walked up to them and asked her if she needed help.

Now, I'm not much to look at. I had just rolled out of bed and my day-old luke warm coffee wasn't doing anything for me.

In broken english she said that she was waiting for her husband. She said that he is working at a restaurant and is probably busy. I told her that I had a car seat and could give her a ride home or take her to her husband's restaurant. We went to Beijing Express, I got a free diet coke.

The 18 month old girl was playing with my daughter's Dora Ipod. She was a little frazzled.

This family looked like they were right off the boat and living in the back of the kitchen of this sleazy joint.

I gave her the ipod.

Why was the poor lady who loved her babies in this situation?

Is she a selfish person or did she make bad choices?

Does she have some emotional baggage that sabotages everything in her life?

Does life just suck for some people?

Does it matter?

There was a sign that said the owner reserved the right to refuse any business.

Ministry is the business of helping and loving people, and no one gets turned away.

Star Wars Church versus Star Trek Church

2008-07-16T10:13:00.012-04:00

I've been hanging out with an old buddy lately.

I'll call him 'Captain Jean Luc Picard'

Jean Luc is a pot smoker and is into porn.

I like hanging out with Jean Luc.

I feel like I can be totally honest and be myself without having to worry about Jean Luc feeling shocked or uncomfortable or challenging his world view.

But what I really enjoy about his company is that I never have to worry about being judged for anything that I may say or do.

Jean Luc unconditionally accepts me.

I think that it is a shame that this is a rare thing.

I suspect that it would be rare for a lot of people everywhere.

I've been in faith communities for my whole life.

Many of them claim to accept everyone 'where they are'

I don't find that this is always true. And I suspect that this (more than pedophile priests) is why faith communities get accused of hypocrisy.

I don't often find unconditional acceptance in faith communities, it seems like I have to leave the faith community to get it. The down side is that me and Picard tend to morally stagnate outside of the challenges of a faith community. (by morally stagnate I don't mean that we start doing 'bad' things, I mean we stop doing selfless things)

I have another friend, I'll call him Boba Fett.

Boba Fett was going out with a Leah for about a year and was not happy.

So he decided to break up with her by saying something to the effect of,

'You're just not the kind of person that I could ever love'

wow

I asked Mr. Fett, 'what the HELL is wrong with you?'

There is being honest and then there is being heartless.

There were a million other ways to break up with Leah without going Deathstar on her.

It's called tact. Christians call it 'telling the truth in love'

It's a cool theory, I don't know how well it works in practice (not because of the theory, I think people are the weak link here).

The funny thing is that as soon as Boba Fett left Leah's apartment he remembered that he left his grappling hook on the table, he went back to the door to go get it (it was a very important grappling hook) but he could hear Leah sobbing through the walls of the apartment.

So he decided to let it go.

Good choice.

Later Boba confided to me that the fact that I questioned his decision about how he broke up with Leah really struck him.

He said that none of his other bounty hunter friends would ever call him out on anything of his action that may have been questionable.

He was convicted and valued my accountability.

HERE THE THING

I want to be a part of a faith community where I can be totally and unconditionally accepted.

I was at a church in California a while back and I was served barbecue ribs by heroine addicts.

The principle of this church was that we heal from our wounds, not by focusing ourselves, but by healing others.

I can dig that.

I've seen a lot of churches that invites people into their community... BUT THERE IS A CONDITION.

If you are a pot smoker, then you have to admit that it is wrong and you have to be taking steps towards 'recovery'

You can be a tranny-stripper, but it has to be a part of your past testimony.

R.C. Sproul thinks that God's 'holiness' is his premier trait, more than his love.

I think R.C. Sproul is a condescending tool and should get spanked by Joel Olsteen's pimp.

Ravi Zacharias says, 'Jesus did not come to make bad people good, he came to make dead people live.'

HERE'S THE HYPOCRISY

no one is perfect

But there are sins that are acceptable in a church, that won't go confronted.

things that are under the radar like gossip, self righteousness, envy, wrath, gay bashing, gluttony, greed, lust (I don't mean porn, I mean the husband that doesn't care if his wife has an orgasm as long as he is satisfied), democrat bashing, vanity and laziness.

It all boils down to selfishness.

I saw a defensive Christian bumper sticker that said, 'not perfect, just forgiven'

I gotta say, some people that are 'just forgiven' can be really unforgiving.

(in their defense, churches are filled with people that are hurting (some of them know it and some of them don't), and people that are hurting tend to hurt those around them)

HERE'S THE PROBLEM

Dinesh D'Souza said that, "Coerced virtue can never be true virtue, it can only have the outward semblance of virtue."

Pretending to be holy for conditional acceptance is worse than hypocritical it is living in isolation.

I've heard the argument that if you have church members running around doing what ever they wanted then it would cease to be a church.

I don't think unconditional acceptance is the same as endorsement.

And a faith based community ought to have faith that their community of faith is going to thrive.

HERE'S MY MODERATIONS

I think that Jean Luc will have problems if he expects unconditional acceptance as his condition to accept others. Remember no one is perfect, some are just forgiven.

I think that if you want unconditional acceptance it will be easier if you are unconditionally accepting of others.

I think that, like virtue, acceptance cannot be regulated.

I think that the only way to know if someone, or a faith community, will accept you is to be yourself and trust them and give them an opportunity to accept or reject you.

It is scary, no one wants to expose themselves to rejection. It takes faith and the alternative is pseudo-righteous isolation or selfish stagnation.

I think that people like Boba Fett do need to be challenged to be a better bounty hunter, but it has to be requested. You cannot force accountability, it has to be done in cooperation with someone you trust that unconditionally accepts you.

the conference

2008-05-24T13:03:00.004-04:00

So I just got back from this conference in California.

It was pretty cool. I think I am changed, but I don't how.

First of all, there is no Mile High Comics in LA.

How lame is that? The land of the Wondercon, and no mhc.

I found a comic shop, but it was dinky and unimpressive.

They did carry some cool stuff that my own shop didn't have.

The ultra graphic Hercules (not the Marvel one), Rasl by Kevin Smith, David Lapham's comic Young Liars, Glamourpus, and Vertigo's House of Mystery. So that was pretty cool, especially since I already read through all of my Secret Invasion crossover comics on the way to CA.

Also, cable in California... not very exciting. It's pretty much the same crap that we have out east. I did watch the Alaska Experiment that was cool. I also saw the old narrated version of Bladerunner, lame.

Other sad news, I discovered that Jack in the Box no longer serves the bruschetta chicken ciabatta.

So, this thing was about the P.E.A.C.E. plan.

The basic idea is that there are many bad things that affect millions of people, but only a few that affect billions. If someone wants to help make a difference they might be overwhelmed by all the needs in the world, this helps consolidate and focus things. This is an initiative to try to take on the top 5 giants that are bringing down the human race. It is not hard to guess what they would be, pandemic disease (AIDS and stuff), starvation, education, corruption in leadership, all that kind of stuff. Mostly it had to do with Africa, it sounds bad for me to say it like that, but whatever, judge me later.

The methodology is about mobilizing regular people, stop outsourcing aid to 'professionals' (ngo's and gov) and put it in the hands of the people (there is some training involved so that people don't make situations worse, the first principle is 'do no harm') instead of throwing western money at the problem. Two billion people can do more than two billion dollars. Too many times donated goods end up in the black-market and funds are seized by warlords and corrupt politicians. Any aid that does reach the intended recipient ends up creating dependancy and a worse situation.

It was amazing to hear about the type of people that were getting involved. Big CEO's (who I would normally hate) were getting on planes and going to Africa to meet chicken farmers and helping people grow their businesses, Dairy farmers were going into foreign cultures and showing people how to raise cattle,

I would like to take this moment to give a big middle finger to all the anthropologists that care more about introducing cows to a cowless culture than they care about the millions of people with babies that are starving to death.

substance abuse addicts and people with sexual disorders were focusing on others to help them save their babies from getting malaria. Yes, it is controversial, yes, there is risk involved, and yes, these people were succeeding in changing the world for the better. Spiritual leaders are meeting with generals and politicians and learning about conflict resolution and reconciliation. Rick Warren mediated the conflict in Kenya and helped to resolve the violence that was killing thousands. All I have to say is sick balls man... sick balls. This is something that I think I can really get into.

The last important things, there is a barbecue joint in the OC called Lucille's. The best brisket and ribs I've ever had in my life. Also, this fat kid playing the acoustic cover of the Outkast song 'Hey Ya' is my new theme. It's kinda hippie so most of you won't like it. Deal with it.

btw, when I listed education as a thing that is 'bringing down the human race' what I meant was that education is a bad thing and we need less of it. The stupider people are the happier they well be. Sure they may get malaria from drinking infected water and spread AIDS by having sex with virgins to cure their AIDS... okay, that's not funny at all. Education is good.

The Matrix has you...

2008-05-23T22:46:00.000-04:00

Paranormal was so last year

2008-04-30T00:27:00.005-04:00

I've blogged before about paranormal stuff, but I guess it's time to tell the stories of my own personal encounters of the unexplained.

I'll start with my ghost story.

I was living in an apartment above a coffee shop in Arlington

with a home recording studio set up in my bedroom

(what a great beginning, how cool am I?)

I was in the living room sitting on the couch watching the Nanny with some popcorn, soda, and my cat on my lap

(not so cool now am I)

suddenly there was the sound from my room of someone banging their fists up and down the keys of my keyboard at top volume.

My cat jumped off my lap, I spilled my popcorn and soda and I missed the punch line of one of the Nanny's jokes, all I know is that there was some misunderstanding about the sexual tension between the nanny and her boss.

I ran into my bedroom, just as I turned the corner, the sound stopped and there was no one there.

On another occasion it was my turn to take the trash out to the dumpster behind our building in the lot with no lamp at the bottom of the exorcist staircase. I was putting the trash away and I had this funny feeling that there was someone behind me. I turned around and I could have sworn that there was dude wearing some of old postal uniform, but I dismissed it as the heebie jeebies.

Sometimes in the middle of the night me and my room mate would here music coming from the attic. One day we decided to take a look up there. We found an old hand crank Victrola record player with a large brass speaker horn. It was beautiful, before I could say anything my room mate gave it to this stupid girl that was with us that he had a crush on. How cool would it have been to have had a haunted record player?

Later we learned that our building used to be the headquarters for the American Nazi Party and that the leader was killed on the front steps of the building (I saw a photo of him in an old newspaper clipping and he was wearing a Nazi uniform that looked like that postal dude by the trash) and that was all his junk in our attic, including a huge printing press.

Okay, so now the UFO story.

I was camping out in Middleburg with my group of goofy teens. In the middle of the night I heard this sound that woke me up. At first it seemed like some one driving up on a motorcycle but the sound got way louder than a motorcycle. The sound itself was kind of like multiple pulsating frequencies.

My first thought was, "are you kidding me with this crap?"

Second thought,

"Who the hell is playing German Avant-electro at 3am... IN MIDDLEBURG?!?!?"

Third thought,

"If this #$$ doesn't put a lid on it by the time I get my boots on, I'm smashing their face."

(I'm not very cheery when I've been woken up in the middle of the night by German techno)

I opened up the tent, the sound was coming from right above me. It was as loud as a helicopter but there was no wind and I couldn't see anything... the sky was clear. The noise moved off into the distance and I shrugged and went back to sleep. Then next morning I asked the others if they heard that weird noise and they all said unenthusiastically, 'yea, that was weird'

I scratched my head and pondered deep questions like, 'how am I going to make coffee in a pot of water on a camp fire?'

That's it. Kids today are not impressed by anything. If it's a close encounter of the 2nd or 3rd kind, don't waste our time. NOW 4TH OR 5TH KIND?, okay, now we can blog about something. And I'm the same way. Here I am talking about it and I'm a little bored.

That Nanny stuff was funny though.

The Geek List

2008-04-08T18:35:00.002-04:00

Okay, here's my comicy geeky list of

Top Comics That I Love,

that you don't have to read but I would think that you were cool if you did.

Exiles: With an Iron Fist by Judd Winick

Exiles is the one comic that had the most cool potential but was never allowed to bloom because of the almighty franchise driven mainstream publisher.

The idea is that there is a 'multiverse' filled with alternate versions of... everything!

And that some how some of these worlds have 'gone wrong' and certain individuals are 'unhinged' and recruited to restore the order either by defeating some 'big bad' or killing some innocent kid.

They could have done so many great things with remixed versions of super heroes and teaming them up to do all kinds of crazy things. It was like an actual version of 'What If'. What if guys like Ennis, Ellis, Morrison, or Bendis had been turned loose on this title? It drives me crazy to think about the stories that could have been, but never were. I guess what happened is that a cast of regular characters were used over and over again and like every other stupid mindless sucky money making property of the Marvel Corporation, nothing was allowed to happen to them, and if it did then they some how came back.

New X-Men: E is for Extinction by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely

When these two guys get together wonderful magical things happen. I'm told that none of Grant Morrison's ideas here are new and happened in the late 90's. I say, who cares? Their story telling sensibilities are off the chart, they avoid all the usual cliches. Some action and drama is explicit and bizzare on the level of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Other times their story telling takes an H.G. Wells approach, showing only the aftermath of something crazy which sends your imagination into overdrive. Quitely's sequences and panels are on the level of an Ennio Morricone picture. I'm not screwing around here, buy everything by these guys.

All Star Superman art by Frank Quitely

JLA: Earth2 art by Frank Quitely

also by Morrison

Marvel Boy, art by JG Jones

Seven Soldiers art by JH Williams III

Arkham Asylum art by Dave McKean

Judge Dredd: Apocalypse War by John Wagner and Alan Grant

Judge Dredd is the first 'Dark Age' comic.

(side note, comic eras like golden, silver and bronze age are distinguished on the timeline by clusters of common characteristics, of which there are always outliers of each type that are both ahead of their time and behind their time)

That whole angst 'Grim and Gritty' thing... that was the brits in 1977, at the peak of the Bronze age Dredd was the harbinger of the coming Dark age of comics. Judge Dredd was published by 2oooAD comics, the house that allowed guys like Alan Moore and Garth Ennis to cut their teeth.

Judge Dredd is a unfeeling merciless cop of a dark megalopolis in post-nuclear apocalyptic America. He hates everyone, but especially criminals. He also goes toe to toe with mutants, monsters, aliens and zombies. He says things like, 'Drokk!' and 'Grud!' and 'Stub Gun! (as he's using his stub gun)'

Also check out 2000AD

and Marshal Law

Twisted Tales Horror Anthology by Pacific Comics

In 1982 Pacific Comics published the first issue of Twisted Tales, which might have been the first rated R horror comic to emerge out of the underground, where graphic comics hid since the 50s, to appear in the suburban racks of commercially distributed and marketed comics.

(but this is not my area of expertise, check out The Horror of it All for more information)

Twisted Tales was the perfect comic for a junior high punk rocker growing up in the mid-west.

It had sex and gore and no moral. It often featured awesome art by Richard Corben, Bernie Wrightson, Dave Stevens, and I want to say Mark Schultz, but now I don't think so.

Also from Pacific, Alien Worlds

If horror and sci-fi aren't your thing some other good small press stuff from the 80s:

Nexus, Mike Baron and Steve Rude's vast epic.

Love and Rockets, Hernandez Brothers' post-punk/latino... indie thing turned drama.

Xenozoic Tales, Dinosaurs and 50's style futurism, awesome art - Mark Schultz

Rocketeer, Dave Stevens R.I.P.

American Flagg, it's weird, a lot of Howard Chaykin's stuff turned out to be true.

Grendel, Matt Wagner, it's better than it got credit for.

Miracleman, nuff said.

Flaming Carrot, uh, his head is a flaming carrot.

Usagi Yojimbo, Samurai epic with cute angry animals, way better than ninja turtles.

Supreme by J Michael Straczynski and Gary Frank

So this is like a modern day evil version of the Justice League.

A nice small town couple find 'the boy who fell to Earth' (Superman, basically) but are intercepted and killed by the government to seize the alien and study it and exploit it for their own purposes. It doesn't go well.

Hellboy by Mike Mignolia

I'm sure everyone knows Hellboy by now. The movie was okay for what it was, but the comic is way better. Super gothic art akin to the shadowy German noir of the 1920's.

Occult action.

League of Extraordinary Gentleman by Alan Moore and Kevin O'neil

Alan Moore is a great writer. My pastor told me that it is better to be effective than original, and although it might be hard to believe, I actually agree with him. But, Moore is both effective and original in a medium where writers are usually neither.

I know some people hate Kevin O'neil's art... if you are one of those people then just don't talk to me. I was a fan of O'neil since Nemesis the Warlock. I've always like abstract artists like Sienkiewicz and McKean, but O'neil was just a little more comicy than those guys which was cool with me.

The League has nothing to do with that craptastic movie that came out. Moore's League kill people and have sex... at the same time... not really... but kind of. This is about a super hero team based on classic characters in the vein of Jules Vern, all of which are public domain. I guess on the one hand I love this because it proves that you can tell an awesome super hero comic that isn't a popular American franchise property. And that some of those characters can die or go bad and you still have a great story. Screw big media, buy this comic.

Also by Alan Moore

Swamp Thing are by Bissette, Totleben, and Veitch

Watchmen art by Dave Gibbons

JLA: Obsidian Age by Joe Kelly and Doug Mahnke

Um, this really isn't a great comic. But I love it and I've read this story arc a million times. The story kicks off in the fallout of one of those huge company wide events (Our Worlds at War) which I never read and probably never will read. I gather that Aquaman used some kind of Atlantian magic to save the Earth from the aliens, but had to sacrifice the Atlantians to do it and turn them into air breathers and send them back in time... yea, I know that sounds dumb and I'm not even sure that that's what happened. But Kelly sets up the Justice League to fight an ancient world version of themselves. These 'Obsidian Age' heroes are just as powerful as the JLA and revered as heroes in their own setting, but completely devoid of anything that resembles modern ethics. In their time there is nothing wrong with collateral damage, slavery or human sacrifice. Needless to say, they have a disagreement.

Also by Kelly and Mahnke

Action Comics: What's So Funny About Truth Justice and the American Way? (widely considered to be the best single comic ever made... not by me, I'm just saying)

JLE

X-man by Warren Ellis

Okay, there is this stupid generic X-mutant that was produced in the mid 90s and then Warren Ellis did awesome things with him. He went from being a character with the lame factor of Cable and Bishop to the best X-mutant character in the Marvel U. On Ellis' run he has elevated to a being that can 'walk the multiverse' and has adventures that are as brutal as they are existential. Once again, I'm not screwing around here, if you don't like this comic then you are an idiot... go play in your sandbox.

Art by Ariel Olivetti, he's another one that polarizes people. I love his painted covers, but I can get overdosed on his painted interiors. It's like too much sugar.

The Authority by Mark Millar

Hmm... this is hard to describe. The heroes are actually the bad guys, but they don't come right out and say that. In fact it is never even implied, but if you look at who they are and what they do and what they stand for... they are bad. I think this comic is a satyr of something, but I'm not sure what.

The Authority kind of resemble the Justice League, but they kill God, push around the President, dismantle dictatorships, have no accountability... and they are arrogant self-righteous (and yet morally empty) pricks.

So, that said, it's a great comic. Millar addresses some political and social justice issues in this titles. I admire the effort and enjoy his story telling, but I don't agree with his politics. I think he over simplifies things and misses the real villains is this country that grafts into his comics, but hey, that's why we have Johnathan Hickman.

4 8 15 16 23 42

2008-03-28T14:13:00.002-04:00

I'm a big LOST fan. Here's a cool video explaining the numbers

(which they never bothered to do in the show and are never going to).

Here's a funny one... (spoilers)

lol

Moved by the Spirit

2008-03-28T09:42:00.003-04:00

I was searching the net for proof that Jesus farted and couldn't find anything.
but I did find this...

okay okay, I've gotten some feedback on this one so I'll tell you now that if you do a google search then you will find quite a lot on Jesus and farts, but after questioning several professors and clergy I found many good arguments but THERE IS NO POOF!!!

Addicted to Mediacrudy

2008-03-11T18:42:00.007-04:00

I tried to read the Schaeffer book 'Addicted to Mediocrity'
but I got bored and didn't finish it. I don't even think that it is in print anymore.
I probably shouldn't have been watching TV while trying to read it.
But, Tombstone is an awesome movie.
I love that movie, it's one of those movies that I have and will continue to watch over and over again.
It's a great movie, but it's not a great movie.
I love it, but it's not very stylistic or thought provoking.
It's a good movie to watch from the couch while working on a blog.
(have I breached the fourth wall yet?)

so check it, here's the best top ten list in the world.
TOP TEN CRAPPY MOVIES

THAT I CAN WATCH A BAGILLION TIMES
1. Tombstone
2. Point Break
3. 13th Warrior
4. Lost Boys
5. Men In Black
6. Galaxy Quest
7. Cars
8. Near Dark
9. Big Lebowski
10. Wild Wild West

okay, so there are movies like Grave of the Fireflies or Ordinary People or Thin Red Line which are way better than anything on this list. But, I can't watch Thin Red Line everyday or even every year.

It takes a lot of energy to digest something heavy like that.
At then end of a long day there are just some things that are easier to relax with.
I go to McDonalds from time to time. It's terrible, the worst thing in the world that I can do for myself, but hey, the human condition is programmed for entropy.
(anyway, back to my cheeseburgers) It's simple, predictable, mediocre

and the only challenge is in my body's recovery.
Given the choice, I would rather have a Big Mac any day over Fois Gras (which I do like).
However, on a day where I do take on something well done, if I am not in the right mode, it may as well be another cheeseburger of cheesy movie. Although a creator may put a lot into a work, it will be wasted I don't put any effort into receiving the work. You only get out of something what you put into it.

Back to McDonalds.

I know I'm not alone here. "54 million customers can't be wrong"
Yes, McDonalds serves nearly 54 customers world wide each day.
And yes, 54 million customers can be wrong. If you've ever worked in retail you know I speak the truth.
Popularity doesn't make a thing good or right, it just makes it average.

(and to all my fellow non-conformists, popularity doesn't make something bad or wrong either, the zebra that strays from the herd dies just a well as the lemmings)

If you've never heard of the show 'Mr. Show' then you are right at home with 54 million other viewers that have never heard of Mr. Show.
It was crass comedy that was just over the heads of mainstream America,
and therefore didn't rate well and it was cancelled.
But it's only natural, that's how the bell curves (R.I.P. Firefly & Arrested Development).
The further you stray from mass appeal,
either higher (like Shakespeare)
or lower (like Russ Meyers)
then more narrow your audience is going to be.

This is why I love living in the digital DIY age.
I love that easy to use and affordable home recording, web based promotion, and file distribution has empowered so many independent musicians, artists, writers, and film makers.
I love that geeks can make movies on par with Saving Private Ryan on a shoe string budget.

People can now be as artsy, crass, and pretentious as they like and you can put it out there for all five of your friends to see.

but here is something that is awesome.

Well, getting back to my point. I think that our appetite for mediocrity is why there is such a thing as popular Christianity versus true or orthodox Christianity is because of fast food religion (I'm so clever).

There are certain things that are just easier rather than authentic. There are some things that are just more convenient because everyone else is going that way. It is less complicated to recite a script when talking to your family instead of getting tangled in the commitments of intimacy.

But when someone decides to follow God they stick out. When you hit a bell it's the outer rim that resonates, that makes noise. Since the beginning of humanity there have been millions of people that claimed to follow God and yet there are so few people that stood out.

I know someone is thinking, 'but I follow God in quiet and humble ways, I serve people and pray and read my Bible and go to Church."

Good for you. You stick to that cluster in the middle, let me know how it works out.

So the reason I've been thinking about all of this is because I was just reminded of a retreat that I went to where there was this goofy kid speaking about following Jesus. The speaker threw a lot of things, but among them was the gauntlet. The theme was 'Get Out of the Boat'. The idea was that following Jesus meant going where mortal man cannot go, walking on water (don't do it, I've tried), and that following Jesus put you on a supernatural journey. He challenged everyone to look at their lives and see if they were on a supernatural journey. I failed the self assessment, but I fixed it. I have since tried to make the habit is taking up the 'God sized task', Blackaby's idea that you see God work when you take on the challenges that only God can do. By acting in a way that makes you trust God, you get to see him work.

It makes sense for me to hear atheists say that they don't believe in God because they have never seen God. What concerns me is when Christians say they believe in God but have never seen him. Once again, you only get out of something what you put into it.

META-TRIBES #2

2008-02-27T23:17:00.004-05:00

Randy Pausch

2008-02-27T22:54:00.002-05:00

Okay, I know this is the most watched video in the world right now.

And thus mainstream and not in line with my blog.

I don't care.

There comes a time when anti-conformity must give way to what is profoundly authentic.

This man deserves our respect, his work deserves to be seen.

Godzilla

2008-02-22T21:37:00.004-05:00

I loved Godzilla when I was a kid.

I would search the newspaper TV guide every Sunday to find out if there was a G-movie showing.

About once every six months there would be, at like 2 am.

I would sneak out of bed try so hard to stay away to watch it, but at the age of ten, 2am is a tall order. I would usually get to see the opening credits and then fall asleep after 30 minutes of Japanese actors talking about some environmental issue like smog, underwater nuclear testing, or dumping trash in space.

Good thing Godzilla stopped all of mother natures creatures that were sent to punish humanity for destroying the Earth.

Now days you can get every Godzilla movie re-mastered, letter-boxed, and have the choice of subbed or dubbed, complete with production extras and original trailers.

But for some reason I just can't seem to dish out the bucks to include G-movies into my library.

But some how Scorpion King made it in...

STEFANIE WOODS

2008-02-18T15:52:00.011-05:00

QUOTES FROM AN TEEN THAT ROBS 9 YEAR OLD GIRLS.

This is what our culture is producing...

"Who doesn't like money? I mean, I don't know."

Reporter asks, "Do you have any remorse about stealing from a 9-year-old girl?"

Stefanie Woods responds, "I mean, right now, no. I'm kinda pissed because I have charges, and we have to give the money back anyway."

"I know it's a crime, but it was an easy crime."

"I'm not sorry, I'm just pissed that I got caught,"

"We went through all that effort to get it, we got all these charges and we had to give the money back. I'm kind of pissed,"

If Ian MacKaye were here,

he would grab that Frappuccino out of her hand

and smash it over her head and say,

"Chill Out"

...maybe I'm thinking of Schwarzenegger.

The latest report is that Woods went back to the Mall with her friend to harass the little girl and taunt her.

okay, I just found this...

I just finished Dexter season 2, which is weird

because it takes place in Florida just like this story. It made me think about a lot of things. Like vigilanteism. I love comics, but the heroes are vigilantes. They have no accountability. Sometimes I find myself wanting legitimate authorities to have more accountability, so why would I be entertained by people that dish out judgement without any refereed investigation?

I think one of the many reasons why the concept of the Christian God is so unpopular is the idea that no escapes judgement. There is a force above human systems that knows every hidden deed, every bit of darkness in our hearts and minds, and that all of it will be judged.

Every once in a while I catch myself wanting to see unhindered justice, and I want to see it come down hard. This is usually when I see some irresponsible parent letting their kids run wild. But, I'm not innocent either...

A friend of mine told me that to see evil you don't have to look much further than yourself.

ouch.

What kind of world would it be if everyone stopped holding each other (or their children) accountable because of their own guilt?

This is what our culture is producing...

Polly Tics

2008-02-18T15:30:00.006-05:00

I don't like politics.

I try to avoid the subject and redirect whenever possible. People have strong opinions about politics and it gets emotional pretty fast. But, I have this blog...so...here we go.

Let's start with a positive...

I love America, I think it is the best country in the world because true virtue cannot be forced, forced virtue can only have the outward

semblance of virtue. I agree that all men are not angels and that we do need government. I think that America has done more positive than negative (maybe it's a close call, I'm not that up on my history).

And I love being able to voice my thoughts, even if they are uninformed or too naive or too cynical.

Why I lost faith...

I don't like the idea that faceless corporate entities can control the political will in this country.

I don't like the idea that our culture places higher value on power and profit over human rights and civil liberties.

I understand the concerns of people outside our borders, their concerns about the 500 pound gorilla of materialism and corruption influencing their culture.

So...if you hate corruption and you are thinking of going into politics...do it, you have my vote.

Why I reluctantly vote...

I've often heard that I have a civic duty and I agree with that. I would love to love to vote, and I will when there is a candidate that is wealthy enough to campaign but doesn't have any ties to pharmaceuticals, defense contractors, oil companies, insurance carriers, or any other profiteering ********s.

here's neat site 2008 Presidential Election

My personal priorities...

As a spiritual man I am more concerned with spiritual activism than political activism.

It takes a lot of personal investment to stay reliably informed on politics (I don't trust mainstream media either, but that's a different blog) and it's hard enough for me to just maintain a stupid blog let alone all my other immediate responsibilities.

But, since politics is tied to social justice (a very big spiritual issue, btw- I'll try to do a blog on genocide and human trafficing) I suppose there is something that I can do make sure the least evil candidate is put in office.

My response to fear based activism...

Many that subscribe to my religious views would say that you have to have freedom of religion to have spiritual freedom. I do not agree with that. I think that the opposite is what is seen in the story of the birth of the Christian church and can still be seen today. The fastest growing church is the underground church, this exists in areas where Christianity is prohibited and persecuted.

My response to politicizing faith...

I see great humanitarian initiatives come from the freedom and financial resources of the western church, but...I don't fear the loss of God moving in communities or myself because of what a culture or government would say that I could or couldn't do. I just don't feel threatened by policies that go against my beliefs. I guess it's easy for me to say these things while I am safe in suburbia. I might feel differently if my home was bulldozed, my baby killed, or my wife publicly lynched. I hope that I would be able to wish grace for people that would hurt me, but I have to acknowledge that grace comes from God and all I can do is hope to be blessed with divine love when I am put to the test.

my comic check list

2008-02-02T00:13:00.001-05:00

Iranian Blog

2008-01-22T09:36:00.000-05:00

Here's a blog entry I found on an Iranian blog site.

The purpose of the following survey was to find out
what issues/challenges Iranian immigrants had met
living outside Iran.

- 91% stated their biggest issue, is the difference
between running water & toilet paper.
- 87% percent of this group stated that it took them
more than two & half years to get used to paper.
- 74% of this group said that they still dream about
AAftAAbeh.
- Of this 74%, 61% sometimes during their stay, bought
either the authentic Aaftaabeh or the plastic garden
watering tool.
- Only 7.5% of this group were successfully able to
use the Aaftaabeh or the garden variety.
- Due to be sitting on the bowl, the other 92.5% had
difficulty pouring the water out near the correct
location.
- Many gave up after finding it too messy.
- The 7.5% successful people stated, squatting on the
bowl, as the reason for their success.
- 50% of these group had fallen off the bowl several
times, before mastering the art.
- 82% of the unlucky 92.5%, have been taking daily
showers to compensate.
- The other 18%, still taking weekly showers.
- 2% had once or twice brought in the garden hose to
the bathroom, but found it difficult to run outside to
shut the water down with their pants down.
- 1% declined comments.

META-TRIBES #1 FINAL DRAFT

2008-01-21T14:16:00.001-05:00

Here it is. My first completed script.

Thanks to everyone who helped it not to suck.

click the top right box to expand..................................................v

Brian Geeks Out

2008-01-18T09:46:00.000-05:00

Spider-Man and his wife Mary Jane made a deal with the devil to save his Aunt May at the price of erasing their marriage.

There are just too many things wrong with that for me to comment...

...who am I kidding.

1. Not a good idea

The marriage was good.

MJ was good. Heroes need strong support.

The marriage makes Peter a more realistic character.

2. How it was done was not good.

A DEAL WITH THE DEVIL?!?!?! AND THEY WERE WILLING?!?!?!

True love forsakes all others. Peter and MJ were first in each others life, even before May.

May had Ben. Her time was up. May would have given her life to keep Peter and MJ together.

The ends don’t justify the means, there were a lot of different ways to get to their ends.

3. The reasons were not good.

- Sales & press (progressive companies place customers, quality and integrity and their highest priorities)

- The misconception that a single spider-man is more interesting than a married Spider-Man (insulting)

- Reset continuity (disrespectful to the fans and previous creators)

- To make Spider-Man more accessible to younger readers (wrong way to do it)

Part of me thinks that this whole OMD/BND is a part an elaborate story that just starting out with the MJ/Mephisto drama.
I think they knew how readers were going to react and that they are using that to build towards something...else.These Marvel guys put a lot of thought into how they present things to the readers, including the images they leak and the things they say on forums, blogs and panels. All the things people are quoting Quesada saying a year ago (about how if he was EIC 20 years ago Spider-Man would have never been married) could have been scripted in anticipation of this event, YES A YEAR AGO. They do these things.
And when they plan an event it's never about the initial drama, I don't think that this is just something as flippant as 'the way it's going to be.'
These guys think big and they think long term.

There are some interesting implications about how this relates to House of M and Secret Invasion
My best guess is that over the next year Mephisto is going to screw Peter over, May is still going to die and in the end we'll see some 'Power of Love' thing and Peter will be back with MJ. And then we'll look back and say, "wow that was brilliant."

Well, it was great while they had it.

2008-01-17T14:56:00.000-05:00

Here's a great source for internet culture...

I really like that band Bat for Lashes. The video reminds me of one of the greatest films ever made, Donnie Darko

Diversity incarnate

2008-01-10T22:35:00.000-05:00

Japan, home of shintoism, Mt Fuji, raw fish, big eye'd cartoons, weird video games, radioactive dinosaurs, and affordable electronics...oh yea, and Japanese people.

But is that all there is to the land of the rising sun?

yup.

NOOOO!!!!! THAT'S NOT TRUE!!!

There's also this guy...

I'm half Japanese. Which half? Well, I have a funny looking toe, but I'm pretty sure I get that from my dad, so I am Japanese on my mother's side. Her toes are normal.

Japan is diversified by many of the usual criteria; economics, politics, and...prefecture?

There are a billion-zillion sub-cultures in Japan, sometimes called 'speed tribes'...whatever.

The obvious ones are made up of people obsessed with games, anime, music, food, sex, and fashion.

But the more interesting ones are the breakdancing rockabillies or the bowling cowboys.

Now that's cool.

Less than 1% of Japanese are Christian. Here are some Japanese Missionary blogs.

pretty interesting.

GraceNotes

Reflections of Refinement

Sekime-photolog

The Japanese have a great sense of humor.

They don't trash talk people as much as Americans.

I'm not trying to bash American, but just hanging around campus, clubs, or watching comedians it seems like most humor here is based on mockery or sarcasm. Maybe that's why I like Jackass. Instead of social/emotional abuse it's physical.

Japan facts

It's rude to blow your nose in public

Japan is made up of over 3000 islands

The density in some parts of Japan is over 2000 people per square kilometer

The "clothing" worn by sumo wrestlers is known as a mawashi

There are over 1.2 million single mother households in Japan

Japan is in one of the most earthquake-active areas of the world

There are over 100 active volcanos in Japan

Less than 13% of the land is suitable for farming

Over 80% of Japanese claim no personal religion, although most follow some religious rituals

The Japanese have awesome music.

I'm American, it is my national and cultural identity and I love it. I've been to several countries and America is where I want to live. I think it's the best country in the world. Although I am only half Japanese I really cherish those cultural roots and have worked to explore this part of my ethnic identity.

Why does this matter to me? In Japan there are Japanese people, there is Japanese culture. In Japan, it is not very significant to be Japanese, the emphasis is on what you do for a living, who your family is, or maybe what you can do. But for someone to be Japanese (or whatever) in America...it is significant. It makes a difference in how you experience life, especially if you grew up in Ballwin Missouri in the early 70's (in Missouri no one can hear you scream).

On my father's side...there are people from England, Denmark, Germany, Whales...and who knows what else. So there's not much of a defined ethnic heritage explore. My grandparents made a little family history DVD. It was pretty cool. They showed some really old photos and narrated with some interesting stories about how the Bowhay family immigrated to the states and made their way across the country. In our childhood pictures, my brother and I stick out like yellow thumbs. Sometimes I wonder if my Grandfather, who did not hide his prejudice of Mexicans, Native Americans, and African Americans, ever had negative thoughts about us. I'd like to think that everything was fine. It's weird sometimes how racism can be compartmentalized. I remember on one special occasion both my mother's and my father's family were gathered together in St. Louis. My brother leaned over and told me that there were two World War II veterans at the table that both fought in the South Pacific but on different sides. I'm still amazed at that, only in America.

ANYWAY, I'm as American as mexican pizza. I love being a Japanese-America and I love America's diversity and I love that I am diverse in who I am. But, I'd really love to see my not-very-diverse fellow christians take an interest in the amazing Japanese people.

Japan has all the social concerns that any country has. Here's some articles.

Racism and Poverty

Suicide and Depression

Homelessness

Juvenile Delinquency

Geriatrics

Too much TV

2008-01-09T00:33:00.000-05:00

I like to watch TV.

I think the medium has come a long way in a short time.

I used to want to watch a show to veg out, not think.

There was one dark period in my life when I would watch several episodes of The Nanny every night.

What was wrong with me you ask?

I don't like to talk about it.

I don't want to veg out anymore. I want to be provoked to thought and inspiration. I want to be surprised, I don't want to be able to predict what is going happen. And I like analyzing the message and style of a show. I love seeing a dramatic conflict of values and ideals played out in a creative way.

But the fact still remains, I watch a lot of TV.

Recently I have seen Rome, Deathnote, Dexter, and Veronica Mars.

Last year I was into Heroes, Battlestar, Doctor Who, and LOST.

The year before that it was Alias, Angel, Gantz, Smallville, and Justice League

Then there was Buffy, Father Ted, Arrested Development, and Band of Brothers

And then it becomes a blur...Sealab...Mr. Show...The Nanny...

So now I have to ask...is this healthy?

Am I a better person for spending all this time in front of the idiot box?

I still manage to get other things done.

In the last four years I have gone on three foreign mission trips, helped organize a rally for Darfur, met the President of the United States, graduated college, held internships at a children's group home, a pre-school, a geriatric facility, and the Arlington Courthouse. I've also been remodeling my house, learning digital painting and writing a short story. Then there is the whole husband, father, pastor thing.

I like to use clips in messages that I present. I try to use scenes from current shows.

There a lot of themes that emerge in modern programming that are relevant our spiritual journey. But at some point...it's all just The Nanny.

BTW, Bladerunner is awesome in Blu-ray

What if Gore won the 2000 Election?

2008-01-06T19:58:00.000-05:00

Hey, I haven't posted anything in a while so I figured...I'll just watch TV.

Seriously, I just got an HDTV, full 1080p, I love it. The HD channels are cool, but dude, playing my PS3 on an HD ROCKS (said with soprano metal voice).

I don't what I like more, the crystal clarity of nature shows or the mesmerizing depth of my shooter games. Even my babies weird 'Einstein' shows are cooler. I try to do my work when she's having her TV snack and I find myself watching it with her and relearning my numbers, colors and shapes.

I just watched 'An Inconvenient Truth' on one of the Hi-Def channels. Wow. That Gore dude is sooo much cooler with a Thomas Newman Score.

But seriously, I don't have half the faith in humanity that Gore does, that people will actually put in the effort to change their selfish, lazy, materialistic, apathetic lives. I should probably include wasteful and indulgent, but you get the point. And here I am eating a pizza with a million electronic devices running.

Is pizza bad for the environment? I feel okay about my HDTV because Gore had a whole bunch of them for his presentation. Besides, global warming looks awesome in HD. But seriously, the guy makes a very good argument and I get the sense that he genuinely cares about people and wants to make the world a better place.

I'm going to start following some of his recommendations from his action page.

You should to.

I'm not a political person, but if Al wasn't married to Tipper I probably would have voted for him. I remembered her in the 80's when she was doing her censorship campaign teamed up with the FCC. She was going after all my punk rock heroes on the Phil Donahue Show. I think the whole 'Rock the Vote' thing in 2000 really back fired as far as trying to get generation-x voters, I couldn't stand the idea of one of Jello Biafra's enemys being in the White House (but secretly I thought she had a cool last name). If the millenials had been old enough to vote they wouldn't have know who Tipper was and things may have turned out differently.

**I couldn't find a clip from the legendary Tipper Gore appearance on Donahue, but I did find this...

After looking back on this video I think maybe we should have been censored.

I'm sick

2007-12-17T02:46:00.000-05:00

I think I have moss growing in my throat.

At least, that's what it feels like.

It's gross, I don't recommend it.

Don't get me started on my sinuses.

The whole mucus thing... terrible idea.

Mucus is for slugs and... I guess that's it, slugs.

UFO's

2007-12-15T16:28:00.000-05:00

Do you believe that crafts of non-human design have been visiting Earth?

Certainly there are hoaxes.

Maybe there are some cover-ups.

How do you resolve your beliefs about what falls in the enormous chasm between what can be proven true and what can be proven not true?

As a spiritual man that is always dealing with such questions I really empathize with people that claim something that costs them socially.

The I love hearing the testimonies of the people involved the 'mysteries of the unexplained'.

Roswell

Phoenix Lights

Rendlesham

National Press Confrence

Does Christian music suck?

2007-12-14T23:10:00.000-05:00

What kind of person asks this question?

I'm a Christian, and I like some Christian music.

I didn't used to, but it had nothing to do with the music.

I just thought that Christian culture was uncool.

I was hanging out with some punk rock kids that I knew that just happened to be Christian (they may have been closet Chritians). They were really complaining about Christian music. They said that it all sucked and that music inspired by the Holy Spirit ought to be the best music in the world (blazing new trails in music for the secular scene to follow). They accused Christian musicians of just copying secular music, the unforgivable sin for art snobs.

Argument 1. Christian music is derivative of secular music.

a. secular music is derivative of secular music. Name any secular artist and a good critic (or the artists themselves, if they have integrity) can tell you their influences.

b. people that like a certain genre (like say, pop music) tend to write music in that genre.

c. if you don't like contemporary pop music, you probably won't like contemporary Christian music.

Argument 2. If Christian music is supernaturally inspired it should be the best music there is.

a. what do you mean by 'best'? It's totally subjective. I once thought that Einsturzende Neubauten was the best because they pushed the avant-garde envelope the furthest.

There is plenty of Christian experimentalist crap and a bunch of pop stuff too.

b. Just because you don't know about it doesn't mean it doesn't exist (hmm, there's a spiritual metaphor in there).

c. Is Christian music supernaturally inspired? I don't know, sometimes I have felt that God was speaking to me through a certain song, but I think it would be stretch to include that in essential doctrine. Also, there are plenty of secular tracks that have inspired profound thoughts and feelings about my relationship with Christ.

Here's my conclusion.

There are Christians out there that hate their own community of faith.

Maybe for good reason. There is not much room for people from sub-cultures or counter-cultures in the mainstream church. That sucks.

I sympathize, but attacking Christian culture (even if is bad) won't solve anything for a displaced Christian.

In defense of Christian music, you can't criticize it the same way you would criticize regular music.

Genuine christian music is supposed to be more than music, it's supposed to be a catalyst for worship, an intimate expression to God (and I don't mean that euphoric mass hysteria that the big budget performances offer). It's sad that a lot of people are missing out on this, or worse, excluded.

Before I would listen to Christian music my girlfriend gave me a mixtape of Christian ska. I threw it in a corner and forgot about it. Then she went back to school and I missed her terribly, so I started listening to her tape. There was a song on the tape that was somewhat silly and had simple lyrics but it changed my life. There was a line that said, "He loves you and He would rather die than live without you." The words themselves are quite nice, but when I heard them I received the words in a powerful way. It was like I was unhinged from time and I felt as if God made the totality of existence just so that He could have this one moment to tell me that He loved me. It was a painful euphoria, I couldn't talk about it for weeks.

Sometimes I hear my 18 month old daughter sing. She's not a good singer, she sucks, but it is the most precious sound that I could ever want to hear. It brings more joy to my life than any Misfits bootleg or Skinny Puppy remix ever did. It affects me because of my relationship with her, it's personal, but I wouldn't expect anyone else to be affected. I guess those are my thoughts on Christians and Christian music.

Cheer Up

2007-12-14T00:05:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I get down.

It's important to have things to cheer you up; photos of happier times, old letters of affirmation...

stupid web sites.

Chuck Norris Facts

Stupidiotic

Despair.com

10 worst album covers of all time.

More album covers.

Engrish.com

Bruce Lee : The Divine Wind

Babies

2007-12-12T00:25:00.000-05:00

Babies...Babys...baabees...babe-ease...baebeez

I'm sooo tired...

sick baby...

wife out of town...

respect for single parents.

My Comic

2007-12-07T14:00:00.001-05:00

THEMES
Meta-Tribes first and foremost about morally grey people with godlike powers beating the crap out of each other.

Secondly, it is about the demands of complicated relationships that can make us better or worse people.

Meta-Tribes is also about the convictions that drive us to be altruistic or self-centered, compromising or committed, confrontational or accommodating, and to love or to hate.

PLOT
Individuals from several unstable super teams contemplate their messed up lives
while they kill each other over conflicting values and agendas,
all the while an ancient army gears up to wipe out everyone.

GENRE
Superhero / mature readers, think '2000A.D. published by Vertigo'

SETTING
The story takes place in the city-states of a future primitive Mesopotamia
devoid of modern ethics and human rights.

STYLE
The story is told through a series of non-chronological snap shots from the lives of dozens of characters
related by several degrees of separation, every story is cross cut with flashbacks.
The tone is both ‘grim and gritty’ and introspective.

MAIN CHARACTERS
All Meta-Tribe characters are remixed versions of the classic super hero models. It it more or less a consolidation of heroes and teams from a variety of publishers, but with a postmodern twist.

The Meranti, ancient subterranean army that is coming to reclaim the earth by eliminating the human race.

Dahud of Kayn, Monarch over a third world holy land,
mediating violent factions and recovering from a relationship with a woman from Norvahl.
(Matter/energy transmutation)

Saimak of Persicaä, a super-cop with stolen battle armor (that is re-writing his DNA) chasing a Kayin terrorist
from his corporately controlled mega-city all the way across the badlands that are way out of his jurisdiction.
(Genetically optimized physiology)

Zhamas of Susa, Prime Minister of a city cursed with a plague that he is unknowingly causing,
wants to impose his idea of utopia on the rest of the world
and is manipulating the world stage to have a crack at the Meranti.
(Vaporizes people with nuclear fusion)

Zandor of the Aegys, mystic leader of an inner circle of paranormalists in an extreme religious sect.
He is obsessed with an evil goddess that he accidentally gave access to our dimension.
(sorcerer that has grafted multiple occult artifacts into his body)

Archon of Kreas, a lieutenant from a nation of freed Persicaän slaves and gladiators
that keep selling themselves back into oppression.
(Iceman powers)

Sharukien of Nin’eva, Empress that sacrificed her humanity for the power to save humanity from the Meranti,
but since giving up her humanity she no longer cares about humanity.
(replaced her soul with a nightmare actualizer)

Roneth of Norvahl, lord over a group of super barbarians
that have some very disturbing addictions.
(generic super strength, invulnerability and flight)

The Ziggurats, ancient temple/crafts that might be from the future or the past,
another galaxy or another dimension,
the mythic plane or beyond the fourth wall.

The Disciples of Esh'la, a brutal gang of Kayin vigilantes that dish out harsh justice.
(shotguns, motorcycles and dynamite)

The Faction of Four, Violent extremists that have begun to take their political demonstrations outside of Kayn.
(a human bomb, a blood elemental, a smoke elemental, and a human Katamari)

Fellowship of the Webring - First Blog

2007-12-06T23:34:00.000-05:00

This past Halloween I was feeling low. Halloween used to be my favorite holiday.

Me and my old buddies would get together and get stupid and have a laugh.

Now I'm an adult with responsibilities and most of my friends have moved away or moved on.

(don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade my wife and baby for a pumpkin themed kegger)

Thanksgiving was also a bit melancholy for me.

A few years ago Thanksgiving was a great time to hit the clubs.

People were back from school, we could catch up and enjoy the high energy vibe.

There would be no point going there now.

My friends stopped going, I hate the music they play, and I hate crowds...okay, I hate people.

But I do miss having close friends to 'bro-down' with.

In the last few years I started going to comic conventions and met some cool dudes and was directed to an online forum. I got involved and had a few laughs with some interesting people of all races and ages from all over the world.

I also got a PS3 and started playing R:FOM online. It was a pretty wild experience to be playing a game that winds down to a couple guys (one in Australia) sitting on a virtual bridge talking about life till about 3 am (my time).

Since then I've chatted with people from Scotland, England, Mexico City, and Japan.

I've also been using Youtube to find info on my video game and discovered and extension of the online game community. Pretty neat.

Now all of that is well and good, but I still missed hanging out.

I decided to pray for friends...how lame and pitiful is that?

I also did a few things on my own.

I 'Googled' some people.

ziltch - Unless some of my old buddies were able to change their ethnicity then my internet kung-fu isn't what I thought it was.

I decided to do a search for people in my area with common interests.

I found some comic book clubs and joined a group on Meetup.com. We seemed to click pretty well and it may grow into something.

I also decided to get more involved in the local association of my fellow Youth Pastors.

I tend to think of clergy as being pretty 'mainstream' or 'straight-laced' people, so for a long time I was hesitant to jump in, thinking that I probably wouldn't fit in.

Well, it might be the case that I don't fit in, but it turns out that these guys are really open minded and accepting, so it's turning out to be a really positive experience.

The only thing is that they communicate a lot on facebook. Yikes.

It was bad enough that I had a silly little My-Space, but now I'm on facebook too.

Well, it turns out that facebook isn't that bad. It's not as 'teen spirt' as My-Space and I found this little blogger thing. So now I'm trying this out too.

(let me know how I'm doing)

Probably the coolest thing of all is that I just spoke with an old high school buddy that I haven't seen in about 15 years.

She 'Googled' my name, and now we are friends again.

I also just reconnected with a old friend from about ten years ago through My-Space.

So let me recap...

holidays-lonley, forums-online games-youtube, pray-googled-meetup, association-facebook-blogger

Okay, that pretty much brings us up to the present. I'm definitely feeling more connected.

I'm pretty grateful for this scary web-tech stuff and I hope all this leads to some good solid friendships.

Meta-tribes

bbow's modular system

Plan B

Bagger 288

LOST and Jules Verne

Surly MacLaine

sound/noise toise

bible criticism

Dirty Rooster

Software Synthesizers

I'm in love

Presence Process session 6 & 7

Custom Keytar Midi Controller

Presence Process Week 4 and 5

Jam the Vote

the rhythm is gonna get me

The Grieving Process

Presence Process week 3

Presence Process - Week 2

Being sick is lame

Coldplay:The Politics of 'Double-Dipping'

The Presence Process

PSA: hit and miss

Anneliese Michel

Economic Crisis - WIP

THE BOWHAY DIET

SEX AND SOCIAL SERVICES

Dora the Explora

Star Wars Church versus Star Trek Church

the conference

The Matrix has you...

Paranormal was so last year

The Geek List

TOP TEN COMICS EVERYONE MUST READ

4 8 15 16 23 42

Moved by the Spirit

Addicted to Mediacrudy

META-TRIBES #2

Randy Pausch

Godzilla

STEFANIE WOODS

Polly Tics

my comic check list

Iranian Blog

META-TRIBES #1 FINAL DRAFT

Brian Geeks Out

Diversity incarnate

Too much TV

What if Gore won the 2000 Election?

I'm sick

UFO's

Does Christian music suck?

Cheer Up

Babies

My Comic

Fellowship of the Webring - First Blog