SEX AND SOCIAL SERVICES

WARNING, IF YOU ARE A PRONE TO DEMONIZING SEXUALITY PLEASE DO NOT POST ANY COMMENTS. Instead you should go here, I mean, why needlessly upset yourself?

This summer my pastor gave a lecture that changed my life.

No, it was not the famous 'Last Lecture.'

It was about laziness.  I had always thought of laziness as the opposite of work. Anytime I wanted to  chill and eat some potato chips on the couch while watching reruns of The Nanny I figured I was being lazy.

This was his definition -

'When comfort wins over doing what is right'

That is a very liberating idea and at the same time very convicting.  

The reason why this affected me so much is that I was able to think about other virtues that I may have misunderstood and began to contemplate the principles behind them.

Obscenity.  

I met with my old religion professor last month just to catch up on life and talk shop.  He recently came back to his faith and is considering going back to church.  He lamented that these 'American Christians' are all obsessed with sex. He said, 'That's all they want to talk about.'

I thought to myself, "Yea, but there's a lot of freaky sex in the Bible."

Years ago I heard Ravi Zacharias talking about pornography and in the same lecture he said that 'nothing is inherently evil.'  He didn't come up with that, theologians have been saying that for generations. But, to include that thought on a subject that is so socially unacceptable was pretty bold.  Zacharias when on to compare trash romance novels to pornography, not because they were graphically explicit, but because they were conceptually explicit.  The indulgent reward to the pleasure center of the brain is the same, an instantly gratifying and intense rush of stimulation.

The problem with pornography is that it is  empty calories... 

like soda and candy.  Soda and candy are not evil, but if you use it to cope 

and rely on it as your source of nutrition then you will not only get sick and eventually die, you will also be somewhat dysfunctional as a person.

But let's face it, people will use anything to cope, even the common understanding of love is 'I like how you make me feel,' rather than 'I care about how you feel.'

Empty.

Now you all know that I love a good controversy, and my last thought is not the big controversy here.  I would like to take this moment to trample on something revered in our culture.  Something that is undisputed as a godsend to our culture...

Of course it is good that some people get helped, that's not my beef.  And I'm not saying that it is a BAD show or that you are BAD for watching it.  After a long stressful week it's nice to flop on the couch and veg.  Coping mechanisms are okay in moderation, but over indulgence leads to an unhealthy and dysfunctional consumer mindset.  The reward for watching EHM is that you get an intense emotional rush, and it is instantly gratifying.  You get to feel warm and fuzzy about the down-and-out family that gets a second chance.  You get to feel good about yourself because other people rush out to serve the less fortunate.  

What's wrong with that?

And for the sake of argument, what's wrong with some pimply kid getting the instant gratification of an intense physical rush from a naked picture?

The teen-age boy is not actually participating in fornication... right?

(The same way that the viewers of EHM are not actually participating in any charitable act of service)

SIDE NOTE - I don't think masturbation can be considered a sin based on the Onan model.  The dude was guilty of deception because he was supposed to provide a child but was selfish and shot his load into his shoe (so as to not provide any evidence when he put his foot back into that slimy penny-loafer) and then exited the tent.

Sorry, it that too graphic?  That's in the Bible (maybe not the NIV).

Let's back up for a second.

What is lust?

Is it any sexual thought? No. (some sexual thoughts are harmless and some are psychotic)

Before you quote Matthew 5 gimmie a minute.

Does the insight into the principle of laziness help us understand lust? Yes.

Here's my definition

     Lust is when you indulge in your desire at the expense of another person.

(This is why I think that many husbands are guilty of lust against their own wives)

This may not completely resolve the controversy of sexual taboos, but it at least makes a little clearer and rational in my head.

Now getting back to the harmless thoughts thing.  I agree with Matthew 5:21.  Anger is totally unnecessary and can be eliminated very easily with the right coaching.  But,  sexual thoughts are only unhealthy if you are ogling or fantasying about indulging in your desire at the expense of another person.

If a kid objectifies women, then yea, that's not cool.  I consider myself a feminist, I have a wife, a daughter, a mom, and a sister.  I want the best for them.  As far as his pet monkey goes, maybe his impulse is momentarily satisfied, but society as a whole is not suffering from the loss of his contribution to... I don't know, the local sperm-bank?

But, if we as a culture are pacifying our ideal to help others because we watch a show on Sunday night then we all lose (except Home Depot).

And who really benefits?  Are the 'down-and-out' families receiving long term professional assistance?  No.

Hore Depot benefits, maybe they are not the corporate whore that some people accuse them of being, but they might be the ho-slapping pimp.

I KNOW, I KNOW!!! 

You are saying that this show inspires people to go out and help others...

...prove it.

EHM averages over 3 million viewers.  I don't want to be right, I would love to be wrong.  Cynicism has not served me well, I desperately want to have hope in Americans. 

If you like EHM and you like how it makes you feel, then keep watching it.

I'm not here to preach abstinence or censorship.  But I do challenge you to get involved in ACTUAL social service rather than a virtual fix. I believe in the potential that each individual has something to contribute.  When you stimulate yourself into social atrophy the whole community suffers.

Dora the Explora

The difference between a rational decision and an act of faith is the difference between doing what is practical versus helping someone at your own expense.

I saw a some lady sitting on the concrete with her two kids, approximate ages 18 months and

 2 and half.

The mom had a look of hopelessness on her face.

I said 'hi' from a distance and then walked up to them and asked her if she needed help.

Now, I'm not much to look at.   I had just rolled out of bed and my day-old luke warm coffee wasn't doing anything for me.

In broken english she said that she was waiting for her husband.  She said that he is working at a restaurant and is probably busy. I told her that I had a car seat and could give her a ride home or take her to her husband's restaurant.  We went to Beijing Express, I got a free diet coke.

The 18 month old girl was playing with my daughter's Dora Ipod.  She was a little frazzled.  

This family looked like they were right off the boat and living in the back of the kitchen of this sleazy joint.  

I gave her the ipod.

Why was the poor lady who loved her babies in this situation?  

Is she a selfish person or did she make bad choices?

Does she have some emotional baggage that sabotages everything in her life?

Does life just suck for some people?

Does it matter?

There was a sign that said the owner reserved the right to refuse any business.

Ministry is the business of helping and loving people, and no one gets turned away.

Star Wars Church versus Star Trek Church

I've been hanging out with an old buddy lately.

I'll call him 'Captain Jean Luc Picard'

Jean Luc is a pot smoker and is into porn.

I like hanging out with Jean Luc.  

I feel like I can be totally honest and be myself without having to worry about Jean Luc feeling shocked or uncomfortable or challenging his world view.  

But what I really enjoy about his company is that I never have to worry about being judged for anything that I may say or do.

Jean Luc unconditionally accepts me.

I think that it is a shame that this is a rare thing.

I suspect that it would be rare for a lot of people everywhere.

I've been in faith communities for my whole life.

Many of them claim to accept everyone 'where they are'

I don't find that this is always true.  And I suspect that this (more than pedophile priests) is why faith communities get accused of hypocrisy.

I don't often find unconditional acceptance in faith communities, it seems like I have to leave the faith community to get it.  The down side is that me and Picard tend to morally stagnate outside of the challenges of a faith community. (by morally stagnate I don't mean that we start doing 'bad' things, I mean we stop doing selfless things)

I have another friend, I'll call him Boba Fett.

Boba Fett was going out with a Leah for about a year and was not happy.

So he decided to break up with her by saying something to the effect of,

'You're just not the kind of person that I could ever love'

wow

I asked Mr. Fett, 'what the HELL is wrong with you?'

There is being honest and then there is being heartless.

There were a million other ways to break up with Leah without going Deathstar on her.

It's called tact.  Christians call it 'telling the truth in love'

It's a cool theory,  I don't know how well it works in practice (not because of the theory, I think people are the weak link here).

The funny thing is that as soon as Boba Fett left Leah's apartment he remembered that he left his grappling hook on the table, he went back to the door to go get it (it was a very important grappling hook) but he could hear Leah sobbing through the walls of the apartment.

So he decided to let it go.

Good choice.

Later Boba confided to me that the fact that I questioned his decision about how he broke up with Leah really struck him.

He said that none of his other bounty hunter friends would ever call him out on anything of his action that may have been questionable.

He was convicted and valued my accountability.

HERE THE THING

I want to be a part of a faith community where I can be totally and unconditionally accepted.

I was at a church in California a while back and I was served barbecue  ribs by heroine addicts.

The principle of this church was that we heal from our wounds, not by focusing ourselves, but by healing others.

I can dig that.

I've seen a lot of churches that invites people into their community... BUT THERE IS A CONDITION.

If you are a pot smoker, then you have to admit that it is wrong  and you have to be taking steps towards 'recovery'

You can be a tranny-stripper, but it has to be a part of your past testimony.

R.C. Sproul thinks that God's 'holiness' is his premier trait, more than his love.

I think R.C. Sproul is a condescending tool and should get spanked by Joel Olsteen's pimp.

Ravi Zacharias says, 'Jesus did not come to make bad people good, he came to make dead people live.'

HERE'S THE HYPOCRISY

no one is perfect

But there are sins that are acceptable in a church, that won't go confronted.

things that are under the radar like gossip, self righteousness, envy, wrath, gay bashing, gluttony, greed, lust (I don't mean porn, I mean the husband that doesn't care if his wife has an orgasm as long as he is satisfied), democrat bashing, vanity and laziness.

It all boils down to selfishness.

I saw a defensive Christian bumper sticker that said, 'not perfect, just forgiven'

I gotta say, some people that are 'just forgiven' can be really unforgiving.

(in their defense, churches are filled with people that are hurting (some of them know it and some of them don't), and people that are hurting tend to hurt those around them)

HERE'S THE PROBLEM

Dinesh D'Souza said that, "Coerced virtue can never be true virtue, it can only have the outward semblance of virtue."

Pretending to be holy for conditional acceptance is worse than hypocritical it is living in isolation.

I've heard the argument that if you have church members running around doing what ever they wanted then it would cease to be a church.

I don't think unconditional acceptance is the same as endorsement.

And a faith based community ought to have faith that their community of faith is going to thrive.

HERE'S MY MODERATIONS

I think that Jean Luc will have problems if he expects unconditional acceptance as his condition to accept others.  Remember no one is perfect, some are just forgiven.

I think that if you want unconditional acceptance it will be easier if you are unconditionally accepting of others.

I think that, like virtue, acceptance cannot be regulated.  

I think that the only way to know if someone, or a faith community, will accept you is to be yourself and trust them and give them an opportunity to accept or reject you.

It is scary, no one wants to expose themselves to rejection.  It takes faith and the alternative is pseudo-righteous isolation or selfish stagnation.

I think that people like Boba Fett do need to be challenged to be a better bounty hunter, but it has to be requested.  You cannot force accountability, it has to be done in cooperation with someone you trust that unconditionally accepts you.

the conference

So I just got back from this conference in California.

It was pretty cool.  I think I am changed, but I don't how.

First of all, there is no Mile High Comics in LA.

How lame is that? The land of the Wondercon, and no mhc.

I found a comic shop, but it was dinky and unimpressive.

They did carry some cool stuff that my own shop didn't have.

The ultra graphic Hercules (not the Marvel one), Rasl by Kevin Smith, David Lapham's comic Young Liars, Glamourpus, and Vertigo's House of Mystery.  So that was pretty cool, especially since I already read through all of my Secret Invasion crossover comics on the way to CA.

Also, cable in California... not very exciting.  It's pretty much the same crap that we have out east.  I did watch the Alaska Experiment that was cool.  I also saw the old narrated version of Bladerunner, lame.

Other sad news, I discovered that Jack in the Box no longer serves the bruschetta chicken ciabatta. 

So, this thing was about the P.E.A.C.E. plan.

The basic idea is that there are many bad things that affect millions of people, but only a few that affect billions.  If someone wants to help make a difference they might be overwhelmed by all the needs in the world, this helps consolidate and focus things.  This is an initiative to try to take on the top 5 giants that are bringing down the human race.  It is not hard to guess what they would be, pandemic disease (AIDS and stuff), starvation, education, corruption in leadership, all that kind of stuff.  Mostly it had to do with Africa, it sounds bad for me to say it like that, but whatever, judge me later.

The methodology is about mobilizing regular people, stop outsourcing aid to 'professionals' (ngo's and gov) and put it in the hands of the people (there is some training involved so that people don't make situations worse, the first principle is 'do no harm') instead of throwing western money at the problem. Two billion people can do more than two billion dollars.  Too many times donated goods end up in the black-market and funds are seized by warlords and corrupt politicians. Any aid that does reach the intended recipient ends up creating dependancy and a worse situation. 

It was amazing to hear about the type of people that were getting involved.  Big CEO's (who I would normally hate) were getting on planes and going to Africa to meet chicken farmers and helping people grow their businesses, Dairy farmers were going into foreign cultures and showing people how to raise cattle, 

I would like to take this moment to give a big middle finger to all the anthropologists that care more about introducing cows to a cowless culture than they care about the millions of people with babies that are starving to death.

substance abuse addicts and people with sexual disorders were focusing on others to help them save their babies from getting malaria.  Yes, it is controversial, yes, there is risk involved, and yes, these people were succeeding in changing the world for the better.  Spiritual leaders are meeting with generals and politicians and learning about conflict resolution and reconciliation. Rick Warren mediated the conflict in Kenya and helped to resolve the violence that was killing thousands.  All I have to say is sick balls man... sick balls.  This is something that I think I can really get into.

The last important things, there is a barbecue joint in the OC called Lucille's.  The best brisket and ribs I've ever had in my life.  Also, this fat kid playing the acoustic cover of the Outkast song 'Hey Ya' is my new theme.  It's kinda hippie so most of you won't like it.  Deal with it. 

btw, when I listed education as a thing that is 'bringing down the human race' what I meant was that education is a bad thing and we need less of it.  The stupider people are the happier they well be.  Sure they may get malaria from drinking infected water and spread AIDS by having sex with virgins to cure their AIDS... okay, that's not funny at all.  Education is good.

The Matrix has you...

Paranormal was so last year

I've blogged before about paranormal stuff, but I guess it's time to tell the stories of my own personal encounters of the unexplained.

I'll start with my ghost story.

I was living in an apartment above a coffee shop in Arlington

with a home recording studio set up in my bedroom

(what a great beginning, how cool am I?)

I was in the living room sitting on the couch watching the Nanny with some popcorn, soda, and my cat on my lap

(not so cool now am I)

suddenly there was the sound from my room of someone banging their fists up and down the keys of my keyboard at top volume.

My cat jumped off my lap, I spilled my popcorn and soda and I missed the punch line of one of the Nanny's jokes, all I know is that there was some misunderstanding about the sexual tension between the nanny and her boss.

I ran into my bedroom, just as I turned the corner, the sound stopped and there was no one there.

On another occasion it was my turn to take the trash out to the dumpster behind our building in the lot with no lamp at the bottom of the exorcist staircase.  I was putting the trash away and I had this funny feeling that there was someone behind me.  I turned around and I could have sworn that there was dude wearing some of old postal uniform, but I dismissed it as the heebie jeebies.

Sometimes in the middle of the night me and my room mate would here music coming from the attic.  One day we decided to take a look up there.  We found an old hand crank Victrola record player with a large brass speaker horn.  It was beautiful, before I could say anything my room mate gave it to this stupid girl that was with us that he had a crush on.  How cool would it have been to have had a haunted record player?

Later we learned that our building used to be the headquarters for the American Nazi Party and that the leader was killed on the front steps of the building (I saw a photo of him in an old newspaper clipping and he was wearing a Nazi uniform that looked like that postal dude by the trash) and that was all his junk in our attic, including a huge printing press.

Okay, so now the UFO story.

I was camping out in Middleburg with my group of goofy teens.  In the middle of the night I heard this sound that woke me up.  At first it seemed like some one driving up on a motorcycle but the sound got way louder than a motorcycle.  The sound itself was kind of like multiple pulsating frequencies.  

My first thought was, "are you kidding me with this crap?"

Second thought, 

"Who the hell is playing German Avant-electro at 3am... IN MIDDLEBURG?!?!?"

Third thought, 

"If this #$$ doesn't put a lid on it by the time I get my boots on, I'm smashing their face."

(I'm not very cheery when I've been woken up in the middle of the night by German techno)

I opened up the tent, the sound was coming from right above me.  It was as loud as a helicopter but there was no wind and I couldn't see anything... the sky was clear.  The noise moved off into the distance and I shrugged and went back to sleep.  Then next morning I asked the others if they heard that weird noise and they all said unenthusiastically, 'yea, that was weird'

I scratched my head and pondered deep questions like, 'how am I going to make coffee in a pot of water on a camp fire?'

That's it.  Kids today are not impressed by anything.  If it's a close encounter of the 2nd or 3rd kind, don't waste our time.  NOW 4TH OR 5TH KIND?, okay, now we can blog about something.  And I'm the same way.  Here I am talking about it and I'm a little bored.

That Nanny stuff was funny though.

The Geek List

Okay, here's my comicy geeky list of 

Top Comics That I Love, 

that you don't have to read but I would think that you were cool if you did.

Exiles: With an Iron Fist by Judd Winick

Exiles is the one comic that had the most cool potential but was never allowed to bloom because of the almighty franchise driven mainstream publisher.

The idea is that there is a 'multiverse' filled with alternate versions of... everything!

And that some how some of these worlds have 'gone wrong' and certain individuals are 'unhinged' and recruited to restore the order either by defeating some 'big bad' or killing some innocent kid.

They could have done so many great things with remixed versions of super heroes and teaming them up to do all kinds of crazy things.  It was like an actual version of 'What If'.  What if guys like Ennis, Ellis, Morrison, or Bendis had been turned loose on this title?  It drives me crazy to think about the stories that could have been, but never were.  I guess what happened is that a cast of regular characters were used over and over again and like every other stupid mindless sucky money making property of the Marvel Corporation, nothing was allowed to happen to them, and if it did then they some how came back.

New X-Men: E is for Extinction by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely

When these two guys get together wonderful magical things happen.  I'm told that none of Grant Morrison's ideas here are new and happened in the late 90's.  I say, who cares?  Their story telling sensibilities are off the chart, they avoid all the usual cliches.  Some action and drama is explicit and bizzare on the level of Edgar Rice Burroughs. Other times their story telling takes an H.G. Wells approach, showing only the aftermath of something crazy which sends your imagination into overdrive.  Quitely's sequences and panels are on the level of an Ennio Morricone picture.  I'm not screwing around here, buy everything by these guys.

All Star Superman art by Frank Quitely

JLA: Earth2 art by Frank Quitely

also by Morrison

Marvel Boy, art by JG Jones

Seven Soldiers art by JH Williams III

Arkham Asylum art by Dave McKean

Judge Dredd: Apocalypse War by John Wagner and Alan Grant

Judge Dredd is the first 'Dark Age' comic.  

(side note, comic eras like golden, silver and bronze age are distinguished on the timeline by clusters of common characteristics, of which there are always outliers of each type that are both ahead of their time and behind their time)

That whole angst 'Grim and Gritty' thing... that was the brits in 1977, at the peak of the Bronze age Dredd was the harbinger of the coming Dark age of comics.  Judge Dredd was published by 2oooAD comics, the house that allowed guys like Alan Moore and Garth Ennis to cut their teeth.  

Judge Dredd is a unfeeling merciless cop of a dark megalopolis in post-nuclear apocalyptic America.  He hates everyone, but especially criminals.  He also goes toe to toe with mutants, monsters, aliens and zombies.  He says things like, 'Drokk!' and 'Grud!' and 'Stub Gun! (as he's using his stub gun)'

Also check out 2000AD

and Marshal Law

Twisted Tales Horror Anthology by Pacific Comics

In 1982 Pacific Comics published the first issue of Twisted Tales, which might have been the first rated R horror comic to emerge out of the underground, where graphic comics hid since the 50s, to appear in the suburban racks of commercially distributed and marketed comics.

(but this is not my area of expertise, check out The Horror of it All for more information)

Twisted Tales was the perfect comic for a junior high punk rocker growing up in the mid-west.

It had sex and gore and no moral. It often featured awesome art by Richard Corben, Bernie Wrightson, Dave Stevens, and I want to say Mark Schultz, but now I don't think so.

Also from Pacific, Alien Worlds

If horror and sci-fi aren't your thing some other good small press stuff from the 80s:

Nexus, Mike Baron and  Steve Rude's vast epic.

Love and Rockets, Hernandez Brothers' post-punk/latino... indie thing turned drama.

Xenozoic Tales, Dinosaurs and 50's style futurism, awesome art - Mark Schultz

Rocketeer, Dave Stevens R.I.P.

American Flagg, it's weird, a lot of Howard Chaykin's stuff turned out to be true.

Grendel, Matt Wagner, it's better than it got credit for.

Miracleman, nuff said.

Flaming Carrot, uh, his head is a flaming carrot.

Usagi Yojimbo, Samurai epic with cute angry animals, way better than ninja turtles.

Supreme by J Michael Straczynski and Gary Frank

So this is like a modern day evil version of the Justice League.  

A nice small town couple find 'the boy who fell to Earth' (Superman, basically) but are intercepted and killed by the government to seize the alien and study it and exploit it for their own purposes.  It doesn't go well.

Hellboy by Mike Mignolia

I'm sure everyone knows Hellboy by now.  The movie was okay for what it was, but the comic is way better.  Super gothic art akin to the shadowy German noir of the 1920's.

Occult action.

League of Extraordinary Gentleman by Alan Moore and Kevin O'neil

Alan Moore is a great writer.  My pastor told me that it is better to be effective than original, and although it might be hard to believe, I actually agree with him.  But, Moore is both effective and original in a medium where writers are usually neither. 

I know some people hate Kevin O'neil's art... if you are one of those people then just don't talk to me.  I was a fan of O'neil since Nemesis the Warlock.  I've always like abstract artists like Sienkiewicz and McKean, but O'neil was just a little more comicy than those guys which was cool with me.

The League has nothing to do with that craptastic movie that came out.  Moore's League kill people and have sex... at the same time... not really... but kind of.  This is about a super hero team based on classic characters in the vein of Jules Vern, all of which are public domain. I guess on the one hand I love this because it proves that you can tell an awesome super hero comic that isn't a popular American franchise property.  And that some of those characters can die or go bad and you still have a great story.  Screw big media, buy this comic.

Also by Alan Moore

Swamp Thing are by Bissette, Totleben, and Veitch

Watchmen art by Dave Gibbons 

JLA: Obsidian Age by Joe Kelly and Doug Mahnke

Um, this really isn't a great comic.  But I love it and I've read this story arc a million times.  The story kicks off in the fallout of one of those huge company wide events (Our Worlds at War) which I never read and probably never will read.  I gather that Aquaman used some kind of Atlantian magic to save the Earth from the aliens, but had to sacrifice the Atlantians to do it and turn them into air breathers and send them back in time... yea, I know that sounds dumb and I'm not even sure that that's what happened.  But Kelly sets up the Justice League to fight an ancient world version of themselves.  These 'Obsidian Age' heroes are just as powerful as the JLA and revered as heroes in their own setting, but completely devoid of anything that resembles modern ethics. In their time there is nothing wrong with collateral damage, slavery or human sacrifice.  Needless to say, they have a disagreement.

Also by Kelly and Mahnke

Action Comics: What's So Funny About Truth Justice and the American Way? (widely considered to be the best single comic ever made... not by me, I'm just saying)

JLE

X-man by Warren Ellis

Okay, there is this stupid generic X-mutant that was produced in the mid 90s and then Warren Ellis did awesome things with him.  He went from being a character with the lame factor of Cable and Bishop to the best X-mutant character in the Marvel U.  On Ellis' run he has elevated to a being that can 'walk the multiverse'  and has adventures that are as brutal as they are existential.  Once again, I'm not screwing around here, if you don't like this comic then you are an idiot... go play in your sandbox.

Art by Ariel Olivetti, he's another one that polarizes people.  I love his painted covers, but I can get overdosed on his painted interiors.  It's like too much sugar.

The Authority by Mark Millar

Hmm... this is hard to describe.  The heroes are actually the bad guys, but they don't come right out and say that.  In fact it is never even implied, but if you look at who they are and what they do and what they stand for... they are bad.  I think this comic is a satyr of something, but I'm not sure what.  

The Authority kind of resemble the Justice League, but they kill God, push around the President, dismantle dictatorships, have no accountability... and they are arrogant self-righteous (and yet morally empty) pricks. 

So, that said, it's a great comic.  Millar addresses some political and social justice issues in this titles.  I admire the effort and enjoy his story telling, but I don't agree with his politics.  I think he over simplifies things and misses the real villains is this country that grafts into his comics, but hey, that's why we have Johnathan Hickman.