Friday, November 21, 2008

Presence Process Week 4 and 5


Okay, I've been pretty preoccupied with the acquisition of new synth gear so I haven't posted in a while.

btw, the difference between reacting and responding is important in these sessions.
Reaction is an unconscious reflex and responding is a calculated choice.

Week 4 was about being one with your pain and discomfort.
The idea is that pain and discomfort are not inherently bad, but we react with judgement towards our pain and discomfort.
Our P&D are merely messengers.
Our reaction is to sedate and control our P&D.
If we shoot the messenger we might be spared of unpleasant news but it is probably news that we need to hear.
If we have a physical injury, getting mad at it might have some negative affects on your recovery.  I haven't done any research on the impact of stress on the human body but my doctor tells me that it's bad.

Week 4 focused more in terms of physical discomfort and week 5 was more about emotional discomfort; shame, disappointment, impatience, etc.

Week 5 was about changing our reaction to P&D to responding to it the way we would respond to some one else that was hurting.  
I don't know about you but when some one I care about is hurting I try to be compassionate, but when it is myself I tend to beat myself up about it.

So this week a lot of things from my past popped up.  Things that I was embarrassed about.  When I would recall these things I would usually get upset and try to think about something else.  
The problem is that past traumas effect our present life, decisions we make and how we react to people.
So this time I received these resurgent memories and talked myself down as if I were talking to a friend that was dealing with their own issue.
In this case I was counseling my younger self.  Yes, that's weird, but people are weird.  
As a result I was finally able to put some old ghosts to rest and they won't have any influence on my present relationships or my self image.

The whole thing is very weird, it's like re-experiencing something familiar in a strange foreign way. 

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